A Family Like Chinese Rice
by W.c.e
Summary: When Esme and Carlisle made the decision to adopt, they never thought they would wind up with five kids! Mostly told through Edward's eyes as he grows up. AH canon pairings T for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. When I had first suggested to Carlisle the idea of adoption, he'd said we should think about it. Of course, it had been something I often found myself thinking about ever since I was told I wouldn't be able to have children of my own.

Carlisle and I, after finding out how much it costs to raise a child, how long and stressful the process of adoption would be and questioning every possible mistake we could make in a child's life, had decided, as my husband had put it 'absolutely not'. It really wasn't rational thinking then, that we found ourselves one year later signed up as foster parents.

I let out a shaky breath as Carlisle pulled into the parking lot of one of those quaint, little family-diner-type places. Carlisle looked over at me and smiled reassuringly. Despite my nerves, I smiled back at him. It was our first meeting with our first prospective foster child, and honestly I was terrified – I didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

Carlisle held my hand as we entered the restaurant that suddenly seemed more daunting than the millions of times I had passed it in my lifetime, and I silently thanked god Carlisle had gotten off work in time for this. Not only would I have been forced to endure this without my better half, but what kind of impression would that make on the social worker? They'd think he was probably some deadbeat who didn't care enough about the kid to even show up, they'd probably think him some horrible drunk or – alright that may be an exaggeration, but honestly after the screening they put us through I wasn't sure what they would think of us.

The waitress seated us and informed us the rest of our party wasn't here yet, very politely I might add 'They ain't here'. Although I already knew that from scoping out the cars in the parking lot and not seeing Tanya's unmistakable, shiny blue SUV.

I informed the waitress that we'd wait to order and she didn't try very hard to mask her irritation. _Teenagers_ I thought with a smile. Our son, our prospective foster son I mean, was already 10. I wondered what our house would be like in a few years when he starts to work and date and… oh dear lord. Well that is, of course, if he stays with us; if we're able to adopt him. Plus he was only 10, still really just a baby in a lot of respects.

"Esme, dear" My attention was drawn to Carlisle who placed his hand over mine. "If you think we're nervous imagine how Edward must be feeling"

_True_ I thought _what that poor child must be going through, on his way to meet random strangers_.

"Yes, dear" I delicately bit the inside of my lip "But do you think-"

I stopped when I noticed Carlisle's eyes wander to the door and followed his gaze to where I saw Tanya entering with a child – _Edward_ I told myself and I could've cried right then and there in the middle of that stupid family restaurant. Looking over at the pair that made their way over to our table, suddenly everything felt real. Edward finally had a face! It was certainly quite a cherubic one as well. He had messy locks of bronze colored hair and was wearing a clean flannel open-button shirt over a tee. He indeed looked like your stereotypical ten year-old boy.

"Carlisle! Esme!" Tanya greeted, seating Edward next to her and shaking our hands. "You look lovely, how're you doing?"

"We're doing well. Thank you, Tanya" Carlisle replied and I nodded in agreement.

Edward was staring at us and I could only imagine what was going through his mind.

"This is Edward" Tanya smiled looking down at the boy who had quietly pushed himself into the corner of the booth. "Edward this is Esme and Carlisle, they're wonderful people and I'm sure you three will get along great"

Edward looked up at her as if in awe, or possibly a bit sick, of her optimism.

"So Edward, you're ten that would make you in the fourth grade?" I asked smiling down at him.

Edward nodded.

"How do you like it?" My husband asked with a hint of playfulness. "Any better than the third?"

Edward just looked at us for a moment. I think he could feel Tanya staring at him when he answered quietly;

"Yes…"

Carlisle and I smiled.

"Well I'm glad to hear that, do you play any sports?"

"I… don't really… like sports very much…" The boy was staring down at the menu.

"Oh! But Edward is quite the musician" Tanya was beaming "aren't you, Edward?"

I almost chuckled at Edward typical preteen reaction because apparently Tanya had just humiliated the child. He face turned red and his eyes widened.

"No! no, not really…" He refused to look up now.

The adults at the table stifled their laughs.

"Oh Edward that's wonderful, it's not every day you meet a child with such cultured interests" Carlisle told him. I suppose it was because we had expected his interest to involve Gameboys or football like most children his age. "What do you play?"

I could feel his contempt toward his social worker from across the table. It was terribly adorable.

"I play the piano"

Carlisle and I smiled again.

The night continued on like that, we ate, prodding Edward for information about school and hobbies and friends (although I noticed he became more silent about that last subject and I was slightly worried about that) eventually by the end of the evening I think Edward had warmed up to us, if only a little.

The waitress brought us our check and Edward excused himself to go to the bathroom.

"I'm sorry about Edward tonight; he's just a bit shy… but you should have heard how many questions he had on the way over! I think this will work well, guys, because this is your first foster child and this is his first foster home" Tanya apologized.

"I suppose that's a good reason to be nervous, can't say I'm not a little nervous myself" I smiled. "But Edward really is a joy"

His was, I had already fallen in love with him – and I could tell the same was true with Carlisle.

"Isn't he? It's great. Now, everything seems to be order and going well, so I'll bring him by for a home visit on Tuesday?" We nodded at her.

Tanya smiled and hesitated for a moment. "and I think he could go home with you by the 17th"

The 17th! Lord, it was already the 9th, this was going awfully fast. I couldn't tell if I was more nervous or excited at the thought of having a child in our home. After so many years of trying, after waiting so long to become foster parents, faster should be better right? Of course this obviously wasn't something to rush into.

"We can't just take him home right now?" Carlisle joked and we all laughed.

"Soon enough" She gave a little grin. "I really have a lot of faith in this"

Edward came back to the table just as we were getting ready to leave.

"It was great to meet you" I shook Edward's hand, which he somewhat reluctantly accepted. "You're a very charming young man"

"It was nice meeting you too" I think there was some sincerity to his voice. "You two seem really nice…"

"Thanks, I hope we live up to that praise" Carlisle chuckled. "So we'll see you on Tuesday then? And you can come see our house?"

Edward nodded his mood seeming brighter now.

"Great"

As we were walked outside to the now dark parking lot, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You'll do great" Tanya whispered to me and then ran to catch up to Edward who was making his was over to the familiar SUV.

I almost felt the urge to cry again.


	2. Chapter 2

When we found out we couldn't get pregnant, we were absolutely devastated. No, that wasn't really the right word. I was devastated, Esme… well I thought it might kill Esme. In every domestic deed Esme did, I could see nothing but a mother. She had so much love to give and I knew how desperately she longed for a baby of her own.

It didn't kill us though. We moved past it. I threw myself into finishing my residency and Esme focused on tending to our home, our all too empty home, and helping with her sister's kids. Eventually, our lives settled down and suddenly we found ourselves with time to notice what was just too apparent; something was missing.

Esme would say I had to be coaxed into the idea of adoption, but I truly felt the need to father as much as Esme needed to mother. After we made the decision, there were a lot of things I started to worry about; If I could possibly be any help to a child who had lost their parents and had to adjust to life without them, if I would even be able to be there enough with all the time my job demanded, at the core of it: would the kid even like me? All these thoughts, however, were time and time again cast aside, because Esme needed me to be confident in this and I was, I was very confident in my wife's love and my faith in her gave me the faith that we could do this.

Our first meeting had been a bit slow to start off, but despite his shyness he had already won a special place in my heart – just from the first few hours I spent with him. When we had gotten home he was all Esme could talk about. She had spoken of him with as much pride as a mother;

'- and he's loves to read? A fourth grader who loves to read? Could there be a nicer child?' She had said. I couldn't have agreed more. There was something about Ed, a strong look in his eyes I had never seen in someone as young as him. He was smart, he was thoughtful, he was so polite… well now I'm gushing like a mother!

Our second meeting with Edward went well too. This time Tanya didn't stay, and I think Edward was glad for that fact. She seemed to embarrass him like a teasing older sister. So left to our own devices, we showed him which room could be his, the little one right next to ours with the walls we had painted blue. We showed him the big backyard he could play in (Somehow he had even gotten me to offer to build him a swing set, I was let off the hook with that one though as I was told ten year-olds are too old for swing sets).

When we had gone outside to eat dinner, Edward sat next to me and asked me about my work and my hobbies and my childhood and asked Esme about hers and if she liked her sister (of course I do!) because Edward didn't really like girls (that will change one day) except for Bella, but she wasn't really a girl because she didn't wear dresses and didn't play with the girls. (Oh so Bella is your friend?). I could have laughed.

My wife had been very worried that Edward didn't have any friends after his silence at the restaurant a few days prior. We realized it was probably because he had a crush on this Bella girl. We opted to drive Edward back to the group home, it was difficult saying goodbye but it would only be a week before he came to live with us.

So there we found ourselves, on the seventeenth of June, bringing home our first child. Edward sat in the backseat, staring out the window. Esme sat next to me, texting her mother of the exciting news.

"Edward" I broke the silence the three of us had been sitting in for the last few minutes. "What do you think you'll like for dinner this evening?"

"Anything is fine…"

"Are you sure there's nothing you'd like, dear?" Esme asked putting her phone away and turning to look at her new son. "It's not any trouble"

"No, thank you"

"Alright" Esme nodded.

The car trip continued in silence so I decided to turn on the radio. A strong guitar rift was playing.

"What is this?" Edward asked.

Perfect. When he finally decided to say something, I didn't know the answer.

"Jethro Tull" Esme answered and if I hadn't had to keep my eyes on the road I would have stared at her. "It says so, love"

Oh that would explain it.

"I don't like it…" Edward announced quietly.

I laughed.

"Me neither, do you Esme?" She didn't either.

I turned the radio off. "What kind of music do you like?"

"I like classical music…"

I learned that Edward had really mature tastes; mature even by my standards, and his musical choices as well as taste in literature could have belonged to someone living in the early 20th century! My son, I marveled, what a boy.

We took the night to settle in, got all his things unpacked and set him up to his room. He went to sleep around 10:30 and I was hesitant to kiss him goodnight, eventually I decided against it. Esme and I simply wished him pleasant dreams.

Afterwards my wife and I found ourselves on the couch with our feet resting on the ottoman and Esme resting her head on my shoulder. She sighed and I enjoyed the warmth of her breath on my neck.

"Carlisle" She shut her eyes. "This is crazy."

I could feel her stomach rising in and out at a leisurely pace. "I know"

"I mean, there's a kid; a ten year old boy, and he's ours now. We have a kid, Carlisle, we have an incredibly wonderful son, do you believe it?" I was beginning to feel as tired as my companion.

"Mmm" I murmured.

"We're parents…"

"Mmm"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What? I looked around the room, lamp, TV; I looked outside the window to be met with light shining in. I then became aware of weight on my chest; beneath me lay a head of light brown curls. We must have fallen asleep on the couch. I groaned.

"Esme, love" I tried to gently slide her off me.

"Mm?" She blinked, opened her eyes and yawned before she sat up. She looked around before she really came to. "Oh, what time is it?"

I glanced at my watch. "A bit past seven"

"Should you go wake Edward?" Esme asked even though it wasn't really a question.

I nodded sitting up.

"Do you think he'll like pancakes for breakfast? Oh he probably will, alright go wake him up"

I smiled at my wife, kissed her forehead and made my way upstairs.

"Edward" I knocked at his door. "Ed?"

The door was opened and I was greeted by him, fully dressed and looking well awake.

"How long have you've been up?"

"I don't know… an hour or so?" He shrugged.

"Ah, did you sleep alright? What have you been doing?"

Edward looked up at me. "I slept good, haven't been doing much… I was reading for a little…"

"You could have come downstairs you know" I grinned.

"I know" He said, a bit defensively, so I decided to stop being amused by him.

"Well why not come down for breakfast?" He followed me to the kitchen, his little feet making subtle sounds against the wood floors.

"Good morning" Esme greeted us. "You boys up for pancakes?"

She turned, holding a spatula in hand. She was wearing a green, checkered apron and for a moment our family felt very 'Leave it to Beaver'-like. I couldn't help but smile.

"Sounds great" I told her and looked towards Ed.

"Yes, please" He smiled.

I truly was in awe of how seamlessly this family seemed to be operating. _Its only breakfast day 1, Carlisle _I mentally told myself.

"So Edward" Esme began, as she placed our dishes in front of us and took her own seat. "Do you know what you're doing this summer, would you be interested in a camp or summer program of some kind?"

Edward finished the bit of pancake he was chewing. "Well… I hadn't really thought about it, but…"

"The neighbors, The Blacks – I'll introduce you to them sometime soon, well they've got a son around you age and they gave me all these pamphlets the district sends them about camps, so you could look through those?"

"Sure" Edward replied, a bit quieter, I noticed.

"Do you not like camp?" I asked.

Edward was cut off by the phone ringing and Esme went to take it in the other room. Once she left Edward replied;

"I've never actually been, my mom, well it was too much money, um…"

His face was a bit red and I felt horrible. I knew Edwards life before he was sent to the group home was a hard one, his mother had been sick and there was hardly any time or money for Edward, but I hadn't meant to make the poor kid talk about it so soon.

"That's alright. Would you like to go this year? It's nothing to fear I assure you" I attempted to comfort him, it backfired.

"I'm not _afraid_" He seemed genuinely insulted.

Luckily my brilliant wife chose that moment to walk in and save me.

"Remember I told you about my sister?" Esme asked sitting down again.

"Oh once or twice" I smirked.

Edward laughed. Somehow, that made me feel proud.

She gave me a look of feigned annoyance. "I was talking to Edward."

Edward nodded finishing off the last of his food and then taking a sip of his water.

"Yes, well did I tell you about her kids, Rosalie and Jasper?"

Edward shook his head. "No"

"Silly me" She laughed. "They're only a year older than you, twins, they're wonderful kids"

Edward nodded again.

"Anna – my sister, invited us over today, want to go?"

For the third time Edward nodded. "Sure"

"Great, then let's clean up and head out. They don't live too far from forks."

As Esme and I started the dishes, Edward volunteered to take out the trash.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked my wife, who gave me a look at my skepticism.

"You don't think he'll enjoy being around other kids?"

"It's not that, dear, it's-"

I saw her hesitate, for a just a moment her eyes cast downward and I realized I had done the unthinkable – I had upset the nicest woman in the world. I really was having quite the day, wasn't I?

"If you don't think…"

"No, no, love" I interjected as I heard Edward come through the front door. "Today will be wonderful"

I had jinxed it. I had made a promise to my wife and had possibly ensured the exact opposite.

"You're on call?" Esme asked –no- accused, really, in a tone as close to pissed off as she gets.

"Yes. I told you that… didn't I?"

Edward sat in the backseat of our car that was still parked in the driveway.

Esme's hand was clutched tightly around the steering wheel.

"Oh come on, I'm sure the two of you will have a fun time" I tried to assure her. "I wish I could come, but they're going to need me any time now"

Just then my pager went off. "Speak of the devil"

Esme looked at me, huffed and started the car.

"See you later, then" She said, annoyed, but I could tell she wasn't really mad at _me_.

"Have a nice time" I told Edward. "Don't get into too much trouble!"

He nodded.

I waved as the car drove off. Suddenly it hit me I was waving to my wife and kid and I felt something I had never really felt before, but I couldn't put a name on it.

On my way to the hospital, I should have been thinking about the upcoming procedure or at least how to apologize to Esme. Instead, all I could think about was how I was going to teach my son baseball, and take him camping and let him stay up late if Esme wasn't watching and maybe get him to admit he likes that Bella girl. I was going to do all those things with my son, Edward.

That was, of course, assuming he survived his day with the Hales.

**A/N: Heyyyyyyyy guys! Just wanted to say a few things, first off thanks to those who reviewed you're awesome and you kick ass and I love you 3 **

**Secondly I know there was a tense problem with the previous chapter, so I tried to make sure this one was better – hopefully it is ' **

**Also I wanted to explain the title. Its 'cause there's this Chinese restaurant that I live by where they pack the rice into the box so insanely that you could eat like half of it and it would still be full- like it grew almost, and I thought that kinda fit the Cullen family in this story (the growing and being full part, not eating them…) **

**And last but not least I wanted to say I got nothing against Jethro Tull, I actually like them. I just didn't think those particular three people would. **

**Class dismissed. : D **

**W.C.E **


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't sleep last night, it was too weird. I lied to Carlisle and said I'd slept fine, when really I hadn't been able to sleep at all. I didn't know the house very well. 'My room' didn't really feel like my room. It was a nice color and all. I could tell someone (Esme being my guess) had put a lot of work into it, but it was just… weird. My bed at my old home, not The Home but _my_ home was smaller, it was messier and it had my favorite pillow. I missed it, I missed it a lot.

"Falling asleep back there?" Esme asked.

Did she think I was some sort of infant who fell asleep during a twenty minute car ride?

"No" I swallowed a yawn. I was trying not to, anyway.

"Alright" She took a sharp turn with the car.

I moved towards the middle seat to look out the windshield. Esme tried to scold me about wearing a seatbelt, but I ignored her. From what I could see, we were pulling up to an old, dark colored house. It was pretty ominous.

"This is your sister's house?" I thought aloud.

Esme took a moment to respond.

"Yes" She simply said.

Esme told me to wait in the car and she would go see if they were ready for us. She left the windows down. For once in all my time living here, it was hot and sunny in Washington. One of the many things I didn't like about this state was the fact it was always raining. The only reason we ever even left Chicago was because Mom was referred to a doctor here… not that it had made any difference.

My ears suddenly pricked up at an eruption of laughter coming from two kids who came running from the backyard. A boy was chasing a girl and spraying her with the hose. They definitely looked like the twins Esme told me about. The boy was tall and skinny with curly, blonde hair and a weird sort of look about his face, but I was really more caught up in looking at the girl. She was _the_ _most_ beautiful girl I had ever seen! She was a little bit shorter than her brother, but she had long legs. Her hair was also blonde, but more golden, longer and straight and shiny. She was wearing a little, white bikini that had a purple flower clasp right in the middle of the top. My eyes were instantly drawn to her chest. I hadn't realized I'd been staring, but she had _breasts_. She didn't have little breasts like some of the girls in my class – she had _real breasts_, like Esme or Tanya!

Then I became aware that the laughter had stopped. Oh god…

"What are _you_ looking at?" The girl put her hands on her hip.

My eyes grew wide, my stomach felt as if it had been punched and I swallowed.

"I, uh, I was…" I honestly felt like I was going to puke, I could feel the temperature in my face rising. "N… nothing"

I couldn't look this girl in the eye.

"Nothing?" She asked with a daunting smirk. "Yeah, alright. We'll just act like you weren't staring at my boobs"

Lord! Whatever the temperature of my face was before was now ten times that! I wanted to slowly slink to the bottom of the car floor, maybe I could just disappear.

"So who're you, anyway?"

I was about to answer but I noticed the boy whispering something to her.

"You're Edward?!" She cried and then threw her arms around her chest. "Pervert! Do you know you're my cousin!"

Was she trying to humiliate me to death?! I held my face in my hands.

There was only a brief moment of silence before she started again.

"So come play with us!"

I lifted my head and stared at her. You couldn't tell she was crazy just by looking at her.

"Don't give me that look; get your ass out here and PLAY. WITH. US!" She screamed.

I shook my head.

"I'm going to stay in the car…" I said but I wasn't sure it was loud enough to hear. "Esme told me to stay in the car"

"Esme doesn't care what you do" She was smiling, seeming certain.

I supposed she would know Esme better than I would, but I knew better than leaving a car just because a psycho asked you to!

"Fine then. Jasper!" She pointed towards the car and Jasper, after shooting her a questioning look, raised the hose so that it pointed at my window. What the heck!? If she does that it'll ruin the Cullen's car!

"You'll be in so much trouble if you do that!" I shouted at her.

Really, _I_ would probably get in trouble. Mike Newton back at the Home told me it's pretty much always the foster child's fault even if you didn't actually do anything. Bella told me he was 'full of shit'. Then again, Mike _had_ already been to eight different families (not that anyone ever wondered why…) and Bella had been to? None. She lived at home with her Dad.

The girl pouted for a brief moment and narrowed her eyes at me.

"Fine. Jasper, don't do that." She instructed and he dropped it instantly.

I felt that ominous feeling once again as her face turned to a look of joy in an instant.

"Hmm…" She said, still smiling. "HEY MOM!!!!! DID YOU KNOW EDWARD WAS A PER-"

I jumped out of the car like the seat was on fire. I didn't care to close the door behind me, I just ran across the lawn to shut the mouth of this kid.

It happened so quickly. I'm not sure how it wound up that way, but I found myself pinning this girl, my new cousin, to the ground with my hand over her mouth. She was staring up at me, her eyes looking like they might pop out of her skull. I'm sure I felt just as shocked and scared as her, though. She struggled for a moment and tried to call out, but it just came out a muffled mess. Her blue eyes began to water.

I jumped off her and took a few steps back. I looked up towards Jasper, who was staring at me in shock.

I then looked down at the girl. She looked really, _really_ mad. She was panting and her shoulders were shaking. She furrowed her brow at me, then burst into a fit of tears.

"I don't even care!!" She screamed and ran inside the house.

I was done for; she was probably going to tell Esme. I looked over towards Jasper; he was more the one who seemed like he didn't care.

He sighed. "Don't worry too much about Rosalie"

"Is she going to tell your mom?" I asked staring at the cement steps Rosalie had just run up. They were broken and dirty.

He shook his head.

"Oh" I said, trying to make it sound like I didn't care. I didn't really care, I mean, I wasn't exactly scared.

"You know how to play Army?" He asked. "I have some soldiers in the backyard"

Jasper led me to the backyard, which was just as creepy as the rest of their house (not that I said anything). There were a few trees here and there, a corner for the trash cans and the rest of the yard led to the woods.

He set up his little green army men in various spots, all the while I was wondering if he wasn't too old for those toys. It didn't matter all that much to me, though.

We sat in the hot sun and he instructed me on various moves I had to make, apparently he knew about a lot of battles. Other than that, he didn't say much. I didn't mind, though, he seemed like a decent guy.

Rosalie came out some time later, looking like her mood did a complete one-eighty. You couldn't even tell she had been crying. She had also put on a pair of jeans and an unbuttoned shirt.

"Lunch is ready" She stood above us, preventing the sun from reaching our mock battle.

I followed the twins inside and as soon I took one step in, I was pushed right back out.

I stared at Rosalie, waiting to hear her justification.

"Stay outside" She told me. "Me and Jasper will bring out the food."

It was suspicious, but I shrugged it off and took refuge under a tree. As I drew circles in the dirt around my feet, I regretted not bringing a book with me.

After a moment, Jasper appeared carrying a tray of sandwiches. Rosalie was right behind him carrying the cups and a woman with brown hair was behind her carrying a blanket. Esme was last to exit, she had a pitcher of juice.

After setting down the blanket, the brown haired woman turned towards me.

"Hey Eddy get over here!" She called.

I wasn't sure why she was allowed to call me 'Eddy', but I went over to her anyway.

"Were you trying to hide from me or something?" She asked.

I think she was trying to be cute.

I shook my head.

"Lord, Esme does he ever shut up?" She acted like she was exasperated.

Everyone laughed.

"He's just shy" My foster mother told her. Had I embarrassed her?

"I'm your Aunt Anna you know" Anna held out her pale hand for me to shake.

I didn't really want to shake her hand, but I could feel everyone's eyes on me, so I did.

She asked me a lot of questions throughout the meal, the same sort of questions everyone had been asking me lately. Esme ended up answering a lot of them for me, while Rosalie just stared at me like she was thinking.

While I had been telling Aunt Anna about how I was going to teach my friend Bella to play the piano, Rosalie had dropped her glass of water – right onto her chest.

"Woops" She said and then she winked at me.

It felt like someone was choking me.

"Edward?" Esme looked at me, confused.

"Hmm?" I asked quickly turning my head towards her.

She smiled at me. "Me and Anna are going to go work on some papers, you three play nice alright?"

I nodded at her.

Once lunch was cleaned up and the adults had left, I tried to avoid Rosalie as much as possible, which meant clinging to Jasper.

"Want to play Army again?" I asked him.

He seemed sort of happy, and nodded.

We had just sat down at one of the battle set-ups we had left, when Rosalie made her way over.

First, she lay down next to me and kicked her legs up and down.

"You have to wait a few minutes to attack.." Jasper was saying and I guess Rosalie was getting bored pretty quick because she stood up and kicked all the army men down.

"Hey!" I protested and looked at Jasper, but he didn't even say anything. He just sat there.

"Let's play something _fun_" She insisted.

I sighed. "But we were playing something fun"

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, sure"

"We were! … What do you want to do, anyway?"

I'm not sure why I even asked. I knew it couldn't end well.

"Have you ever seen a ghost?" She smiled.

I shook my head. Actually, once after my mother had died I saw her in a dream…

"Well I have" She looked at Jasper to back her up, he nodded. "He was really creepy too; do you want to know how he died?"

Did I? She was obviously just making this up.

"He jumped out a window!" She practically shot into the air with excitement. "His body was really gross too, all covered in glass and blood and his head was all bashed up too!"

Jasper nodded again, I would have hated to see what Rosalie would do if he didn't.

"He wanted to sleep with me" Rosalie shrugged.

I gasped. What in god's name was wrong with this girl? Why did she have to say things like that?

" 'cause I looked like his lover, that's why he killed himself – because his lover died and now he looks for her"

I blinked at her a few times, she didn't go away.

"I'm going to show you his house!" She cried and grabbed my hand; I stared at her ivory fingers in horror.

"What?!" She tried harder to pull me away, but I stood my ground. "We can't leave I'll- I'll, Esme will be mad!"

"Oh quit being such a pussy!"

"I'm _not_ a _pussy_!" Maybe I was just the only sane one here?!

"Then come one" She looked at me expectantly.

I looked back at the tiny house and sighed.

"How long will we be gone for?" I didn't want to make Esme worry or anything.

She grinned. "Not long at all!" and with that we took off through the woods behind her house, Jasper right behind us.

It was pretty dark in the woods, despite it being a sunny day. There were still dead leaves on the ground even in the middle of June, and it kinda stunk.

Rosalie didn't let go of my hand until we reached a barbed wire fence about ten minutes into our walk. It was old and I ran my fingers along the rust.

"There's a hole in this fence somewhere…" Rosalie muttered until she spotted it. "Oh! There!"

The hole was pretty small, and the part the bent upwards seemed like it was sharp. I delicately placed a finger on the end, but Rosalie smacked it away.

"Don't do that!" She cried.

"Ow!" I screamed. That blonde fiend had hit my hand right into the fencing!

She grabbed my hand and looked at my bleeding palm.

"Aw you're fine!" She told me and wiped the blood on jeans, which stung my hand.

"Ow" I pulled my hand away and glared at her.

She rolled her eyes at me. This girl was worse than Mike Newton…

"Go" She told me motioning to the hole.

I looked up at her blue eyes and decided the faster I got over with this the better.

I made my way through the hole, narrowly, but I made it. I stood up and looked through the fence at Jasper who was about to go through. Rosalie placed a hand on his chest.

"No" She told him.

He looked at her questioningly.

"You won't fit"

"But I-"

"You _won't _fit" She stared him down.

"I'll wait here then" He gave up.

She nodded. "Ok"

Rosalie bent over to make her way through the hole, which caused her to squeeze her breasts together. Not wanting a repeat of the morning, I swiftly turned my head.

After accomplishing the task she grinned and grabbed my hand again.

She pulled a little ways until we reached a house the size of a tool shed, or- was it a tool shed?

"I thought you said you were going to show me his house?"

"I was mistaken" She said quickly. "This is where he died"

Why was she lying to me?

"You said he jumped out a window" I crossed my arms. I was really getting sick of my new cousin.

"Don't you want to look inside?"

"But you-"

She pulled me next to her and started to slowly open the old door.

"I don't know what's behind this door" She told me. I think I was supposed to be scared. "He might be waiting right there"

"R-really?" I asked.

"Mmmhmm" She whispered in my ear and I felt the hairs on my neck raise. "He's such an angry man…"

The same smooth skin that tightly grasped my hand was pulling at the door, while chips of old paint fell from the handle.

"I'd hate to see what he'd do if he saw someone else with his woman" Her voice was so close to me I could feel it. The in and out of her silent breath and the slight creak of the door didn't prepare me for the sudden scream as Rosalie ripped the door open.

"Agghhhh!" I jumped backwards, my heart feeling like it was going to explode! I stumbled over a stick and landed on my butt.

Rosalie nearly toppled over with laughter.

"Oh my, oh my god" She was clutching her sides. "Oh my god, Edward. You almost wet your pants!"

If I concentrated all my anger on her, she might burst into flames.

"You just surprised me!"

"Surprised you? Do you always scream like a little girl when you're surprised?"

I was still attempting to burn her with my eyes.

"Oh quit it with the look"

I didn't.

"Come inside won't you?" She extended her hand towards the house.

Against my better judgment, I followed her inside.

"It's pretty creepy in here, huh?" She asked softly.

It was. It was too dark to see much, the only light came in through the now half open door. There were shelves that were falling apart, and I could feel dirt beneath my shoes. I looked over to the corner where I saw the shape of something like a- a baby.

"What is _that_?" I practically breathed in my words.

"Hmm?" Rosalie had been looking at the various tools that lined the wall. "What is it, a bug or something? Are you afraid of a bug, Edward?"

"Just look, alright?"

Rosalie made her way over to the form and stood above it for a moment.

"Edward, this is a… dead baby" She said solemnly.

I instinctively jumped back.

"Just kidding" She smirked and picked it up. "It's a little doll"

"Well that's creepy!"

"Is it?" She shoved the doll in my face. The doll was disgusting – the eyes went the wrong way and the hair was tangled and I think there was a beetle on its foot.

"Am I gross?" She asked with the voice of a little girl.

"You're not gross" I said to make her get it out of my face.

"Thank you, now give me a kiss" 'The doll' asked.

"No" I told it- or her I mean.

"Well I can't live without your love so I guess I have to kill myself!" She threw the doll into the corner and came closer to me.

"Give me a kiss" She said.

"N-no" My face twisted, what was she talking about.

"I think" She started. "If you kiss me, I can get the ghost to come out"

I stared at her. My heart was beating so fast I wondered if she could hear it.

"Your palms are sweaty" She said as she grabbed my hands.

"So?" I asked trying to rip them away, but she only held on tighter.

"Hey Edward" She began to lean in to my face- which was growing hotter by the second. "I think that doll might have been mine, from a really long time ago…"

I was about to question that, when all of a sudden her lips were on my mouth. I could have spontaneously combusted!

"Get off me!" I cried angrily, pushing her away.

"Aghhhhhhhhhh!" She screamed bloody murder. It was deafening. "The ghost is here, I see him!!"

She pushed me backwards so that I fell on the floor. I heard the door slam, my ears pricked up.

"Hey- wait!" I cried and made a mad dash for the door.

I didn't dare look behind me for fear that I would be met with a pair of enraged eyes. My shaky hand clasped the door handle I pushed with every strength I had.

"Open the door!" I screamed. "Rosalie! Please!"

My heart wouldn't slow down; I could feel my eyes start to water.

"Please! Please! Help me! Rosalie, please! I'll do anything you want!!" I was beating my fists against the door to no avail. "Please"

I whimpered. I was beginning to think no one was even there.

I thought I felt a breath on my neck – he was right behind me, wasn't he?

I was beginning to curse everything that had led me to this point, why Esme had to bring me here, why she left me alone with Rosalie, why Rosalie had left, why Mom had left…

"Mom" I whispered, I was shaking. I really felt I was going to die like this.

"Say you love me!" I heard a feminine voice shout.

"What?" I cried out.

"Say you love me!" It called back.

I wiped some of my tears away.

"Open the door, Rosalie!"

"Say you love me first!"

Was she serious?

"Fine!" I screamed. "Fine, you're my cousin, I love you!"

"No, not as cousins"

"What?"

"Say you love me as a _woman_!"

"Why would you want me to say that?!" I suddenly got a chill. "Ok! Ok I love you as a woman!"

"Look behind you, Edward." I squeezed my eyes shut. After all that, she wasn't going to open the door?

"N-no"

"There's no such thing as ghosts" She called. "I made it up"

"No! No, he's here! I can feel his breath!" I choked out.

"Honestly" She sighed.

I was exposed to the light as she swung the door open. I tried to leave but she grabbed the collar of my shirt.

"Look" She ordered and turned my head to the back of the shed. "There really isn't anything there"

Unfortunately, she was right. There was absolutely nothing there but a bare wall. I felt like an idiot.

"C'mon" Rosalie sighed.

We simultaneously turned around to leave, but what we saw made us both scream.

"What the hell!!" Rosalie shrieked.

There was a silhouette with blood dripping from its hands. I think I was nearly wetting myself now. It was too difficult to breathe.

"Relax!" A deep but soft voice ordered. "It's just me"

"Jasper?" Rosalie asked.

"Yeah"

I let out a sigh of relief. Rosalie helped me up and we both walked out of the shed.

"I thought I told you not to come?" Rosalie asked, but she didn't seem angry.

"I heard screaming…" He replied slowly. "I thought maybe someone got hurt"

"Just Edward acting like an infant" She smiled. "He was crying for his mommy"

Were I any more embarrassed, I would have dropped dead.

"But you look like the one that got hurt" She grabbed his hands that were torn and bloody.

"Barbed wire fence" He explained.

Rosalie sighed at him and we began the long walk back to our impending doom.

If Mike Newton was right, I was a goner.

**A/N: I got a few little notes for me lovely readers. **

**Again, thanks to everyone who reviewed! They make me smile XD **

**Hmm, I think the doll has something in common with Edward, huh? **

**Anyway, is Rosalie too OOC? I think she'll probably be different in her teens, at which point she'd let Edward bleed to death before getting blood on her jeans! **

**As for Jasper, well you'll probably hear more out of him when Alice comes. **

**And Edward - I tried to keep in mind I was writing from the view of a ten year old boy, and Edward's mature for his age but not **_**so**_** mature that he doesn't notice certain things! **

**Last but not least, I wrote this chapter crazy fast – it kinda came out of nowhere, but now I'm all wrote out so the next chapter might not be for a little bit. This one's longer though so it's all good, right? Yes? Ok, good. **

**Go crazy. **

**W.C.E **


	4. Chapter 4

When I had first come to live with the Cullens, I felt weird and awkward. I didn't know how to address them, what things I could and couldn't do in their home or how long I would be staying. Don't get me wrong, I had liked my foster parents since the beginning, I guess it was just a matter of… finding my place.

Over the summer I had lived with them, I was introduced to some extended family. They were nothing like the Cullens _at all_. Every visit we had with them left somebody in tears, after the last visit there Esme had cried all night in her room. I'm not sure whether it was because of me or not though.

Everything about the Hales made me wary, the worst offender being my cousin, Rosalie. She was absolutely crazy and I wanted nothing to do with her, unfortunately I seemed to be her favorite one to torture. Her brother Jasper was just silent in a really creepy way. He was weird, but he didn't bother me all that much. There were also a lot of secrets the Hales kept and I might have only known the half of it.

However, despite the drama I had stumbled into I found my summer had gone by in the blink of an eye. I had wasted my days playing around the neighborhood; I actually ended up playing with the kid next door, Jacob Black, a lot. It was mostly to avoid having to visit with Rosalie though, as Jacob usually got mad when I didn't want to do something dangerous with him, plus he always smelled like his dog.

A lot of times Esme and Carlisle would let me late me stay up late and some days I could just enjoy reading a novel or talking on the phone with Bella into the early hours of the morning, but when Tanya had brought over my school information on one of her visits, I knew it was over.

"What's got you down?" Jacob asked as he made his way up the stairs of my house.

"Summer's over" I frowned watching the rain fall in the street. "And I have to visit my cousins"

Jacob laughed and shook the rain out of his long hair.

"Yeah, it sucks. Why do you have to visit your cousins?"

"Jasper invited me to come to the pool with them on Saturday and Esme says I should see them before school starts again" I sighed.

I had thought of a million excuses to try and get out of going, somehow I had only gotten Bella roped into this and a trip to the doctor.

"You should just be home schooled like me" He grinned. "Wait- I thought you said you liked Jasper?"

"I didn't say that. I said I didn't mind him, not as much as Rosalie anyway, but this whole thing was her idea I'm sure."

"Sucks" He muttered again. "Is Bella going?"

No, not that he had to know of at least. Once, after Carlisle made me invite him in, I showed him a picture of her and suddenly she became his favorite topic. All he ever said was 'how old is Bella?' 'What does Bella like to do?', 'does Bella like dogs?' and on and on and on like that. It was really annoying. Jacob in general proved to be annoying.

"I don't think so…"

"Oh. So, can I come anyway?" He asked hopefully. "I never get to do anything fun around here"

Jacob was really big for his age. He was taller and stronger than me, but he was over a year younger and a lot of times that was really obvious.

"No" I told him and he frowned.

He started knocking at the door, so I turned to see what he was doing.

"Esme!" He called.

"St- stop that!" I pulled on his sleeve, but the damage had already been done.

"What is it, dear?"Esme opened the door, looking down at us. "And why are you two sitting out here in the rain?'

"Edward didn't invite me in" He shrugged encouraging me to shoot him a glare; he only grinned back at me.

I felt Esme's critical eyes on me.

"Well that wasn't very nice of him" She said.

"I know, right? Anyway, can I go with Edward to the pool on Saturday?"

Although I wasn't looking at either of them, I knew they were both smiling. I felt like I was practically sitting in a pool of their cheerfulness.

"I'll call my sister and ask, but I'm sure Edward would love it if you could come" Esme smiled and turned to leave.

I continued to sit there while Jacob babbled on about something or other. I sat, not listening, watching the typical Fork's weather that so ironically matched my mood.

On Saturday morning the first thing I did was wake up and look out the window. I was really disappointed to see it was a bright and sunny day.

Carlisle had already left for work, which was something I had gotten use to over the last couple of months. Apparently, being a doctor meant you had to work _all_ the time, even during important things like your anniversary or the day you said you'd take your foster son to play baseball. I was still waiting for him to make up for that last one…

After I got dressed, I spent the morning sitting silently at the kitchen table. Jacob had come over after breakfast, and I considered simply slamming the door in his face. Of course _Esme _had told him to come in. She told him I was in a bad mood. I _really_ appreciated that.

"He's been sulking all morning" She told him.

It was lovely the way she talked about me as if I wasn't even there.

Esme made me play with Jacob. She and Carlisle had bought me some board games because it rained a lot here, so I was stuck playing checkers with the kid. I was about to beat him for a third time when the door bell rang.

I dropped my checker piece and ran to the door, hoping it was Bella.

I opened the door eagerly, not noticing Jacob had been right behind me the entire time.

"Edward!" Bella smiled when I opened the door and then hugged me to the point where I almost died, she didn't release me until she turned around to wave goodbye to her dad.

"Bye Chief Swan!" I called as Charlie pulled out of the driveway; he waved back in his usual fashion.

"Bella! I'm so happy you came!" I told her thankfully.

"I know, I know, I haven't seen you in _forever_" She said and then hugged me again.

It _had_ been forever. I looked her over, her brown curls were a little longer and maybe she was a little taller but other than that she looked pretty much the same.

"Is that Bella?" Esme asked stepping out from the hallway.

"Oh yeah" I said letting go of my friend. "Bella this is my foster mom Esme."

"It's nice to meet you" Bella quietly greeted.

Esme smiled and told her to come in. I was somewhat embarrassed I had forgotten to do that myself.

"I'm Jacob" Bella was told by a long-haired stranger as soon as she had one foot in the door.

The way he introduced himself made him seem different. His voice was odd, like he was trying to seem older. _Good_ _Luck_ I thought.

"Hi, Jacob" Bella smiled at him.

I saw her cheeks turning pink. It was always pretty easy to tell what Bella was thinking or feeling, she didn't always say much, but I knew her well enough to be able to read her face. At the moment, she was completely charmed.

"Want to see my room?" I grabbed Bella away and lead her upstairs. Jacob was once again right behind us.

In my doorway, I turned to him and asked; "Could you help Esme make the lunches?"

"But I-" He began and I glared at him.

"Edward" Bella said, frowning at my behavior which only aggravated me more.

"He'll stink up my room of dog" I whispered to her.

"Oh shut up, Ed, he doesn't smell bad"

I stared at her. Despite her being my best friend in the world, I thought she must've been nuts not to have noticed Jacob's stench.

Jacob smiled ear to ear like he had just received the biggest compliment ever.

"Fine" I gave up and let the dog-boy in.

There was hardly ever a point in me arguing with Bella, she almost always got her way.

Bella looked around the room seeming impressed. I grinned, until I saw that Jacob was sitting on _my bed_.

"Could you please not touch my pillows?"

He held his hands up in innocence and got off the bed. Bella just rolled her eyes at me and then took the spot where Jacob had been sitting.

"I like this" Bella told me pointing to the frame above my bed. It was a cross-stitch Esme had made for me before I even came to live here; it had a prayer on it about angels watching you while you were sleeping or something. I wasn't actually religious, but the Cullens had been taking me to church and so I guess it was just assumed I was. I never said anything, anyway, and I had liked the gift. It was nice. I was afraid other people would think it was babyish though.

"Four corners to my bed, four angels 'round my head, one to watch, one to pray and two to bear my soul away" Jacob read aloud, obviously amused.

I raised my eyebrow at him, challenging him to say something. He didn't, he only kept smirking.

I frowned at him.

"Hey Bella isn't it cool how we're in the same class again? This is the third year in a row" I commented to Bella, but I was looking at Jacob.

"Yeah" She smiled. "Hey Jacob, do you go to Fork's? I don't think I've seen you there"

"He's homeschooled" I told her eyeing Jacob's reaction. "Because he's Indian"

He frowned, so naturally I was the poster boy for happiness.

"Oh" Bella cast her eyes downward.

Was she actually sorry about that? Geez, why would she want to go to school with some idiot troublemaker who smelt like a dog?

"I'm Native American" He corrected.

"And he's only going to be a fourth grader" I added.

"Really?" Bella exclaimed looking at the younger boy who was at least a good 5 inches taller than her.

"Yeah" He smirked, which was unfortunate 'cause I was hoping he would be embarrassed.

"Maybe one day Ed will grow as big as me, right shrimp?" He asked me.

I didn't have time to say something back, but I'm not sure I would've been able to come up with anything good anyway.

"Edward!" The three of us jumped at the sound of Esme's voice.

I grabbed my bag and we went downstairs where Rosalie and Jasper were waiting.

"Thanks, Esme" Rosalie was saying as my foster mom handed her the basket full of lunches. Jasper was silently by her side, like always.

"Hi" I said, only because I knew Esme would get mad if I didn't.

"Hi" Rosalie waved at me cheerfully with her free hand.

"Hi" Jasper quietly echoed her.

"Introduce your friends, Edward." Esme insisted.

"This is Jacob" I sighed pointing to the creature, then smiled towards my friend. "And this is Bella"

Bella waved shyly towards the twins.

Eventually, after making sure we packed every pool-related item in existence, Esme let us go.

I said hello to my aunt as the five of us crammed into the tiny car. Obviously, it was Jacob who was taking up the most room. I had the pleasure of sitting right next to him, but at least Bella was on my other side.

Aunt Anna nagged the two of them with a million typical questions. Jacob bogarted most of the conversation.

When we finally did arrive at the pool, and got all our stuff to the chairs, Aunt Anna said goodbye.

"Your mom's leaving?" I asked Jasper.

I hadn't been aware that _I_ was going to have to be the most responsible one.

He nodded.

"What's the matter, Edward?" Rosalie had asked, walking into our conversation. "You don't think _I _can watch after you kiddies?"

I squeezed my eyes closed. I could feel a headache coming on.

I looked around the pool area, it was pretty crowded. Probably because people knew it would be one of the last days of good weather this year.

Rosalie looked over at me, waiting for me to reply. When she saw I wasn't going to say anything, she began taking off her shirt.

I turned my head reflexively, to where Bella shot me a look.

Rosalie laughed. "I have to change, don't I?"

Not right in front of me, she didn't!

I took a deep breath and then grabbed Bella by the hand. Her hand was really soft, I noticed.

"Let's go swimming!" I ordered and lead her to the stairs of the pool.

Bella looked back at the three we had left behind and then turned to me and twiddled her fingers together. She looked really cute standing there in her blue one piece. I didn't mean she was cute per say. I mean I didn't usually think of her as cute, she was my best friend. She just looked more… like a girl today.

"You know I can't swim very well, Edward" She muttered.

"That's alright; we'll just stay in the shallow end"

The shallow end of the pool was only about three feet deep, about up to our chests.

I could tell I made Bella more comfortable, so we got into the pool and played Shark and Got You Last and Splash Fight. Jacob had come over to play with us, something I wasn't really ecstatic about, but what could I do? I glanced over to where Jasper was sitting quietly, watching us and Rosalie lay on the chair tanning. Lying outstretched on the chair in her bathing suit, she definitely looked much older than eleven.

"Should we invite Jasper over?" Bella asked when she saw me looking at them I quickly turned my head to look at her.

I didn't know. Jasper probably would have wanted to play, but it might get Rosalie mad…

"I think he likes sitting over there…"

"Doing nothing?" She challenged. "Invite him over."

I sighed. If Bella had sincerely asked me to, I really didn't have a choice.

I made my way over to the twins and stood awkwardly in front of them, dripping wet and blocking their sun.

"Do you want to come play with us…?" I muttered to Jasper.

He looked up at me and then over to his sister who was seemingly asleep or otherwise just unusually quiet.

"…Sure" He agreed and I smiled, mostly because Bella would be happy with me now.

"Mmm… wait" Rosalie muttered before we could get away. She opened her eyes and turned to me. "Don't you want to play with _me_?"

"No" I told her. The last time I had 'played' with her I ended up bleeding, getting grounded and making my foster mom cry. So, no, I didn't want to play with her.

"You rather play with that little girl?" She grumbled.

Jasper looked awkwardly between the two of us.

"That girl is my best friend; she's definitely a lot nicer than you!" I spat.

"Oh, Edward, you break my heart" She smiled. "You seemed to like me an awful lot when you were in the shed…"

I started to walk off, not really caring who was following me. It wasn't until I was back to Bella and Jacob that I noticed both of the twins had come.

"You smell like a dog" Rosalie laughed at Jacob.

If I had the tiniest bit of fondness towards my psychopathic cousin, I would've smiled.

"What? You don't like dogs…?"

"I don't like boys who _smell_ like dogs" She stated simply.

"Good" He grinned. " 'Cause I don't like girls who wear so much make-up they could walk into a circus tent and fit right in!"

Hmm, someone once told me an enemy's enemy is a friend, but then between the two I wouldn't be able to decide who the lesser of the evils was…

"Oh _you're_ cute" She rolled her eyes.

He turned to his side and started striking poses.

It was too much, I hid my face behind my hands and I could hear the familiar sound of Bella's laughter beside me.

"You think?" He asked.

I think Rosalie was the only one who wasn't amused.

"Whatever…" She scoffed "So Bella, how come your hair is so dirty?"

Bella's face was unforgettable. "_What_?"

"Do you not wash it or-…?" Rosalie inquired, sarcastically tilting her head.

I _knew_ it wasn't a good idea to come here. I knew Rosalie was going to do _something_ like this! That girl was the most rotten kid I'd ever met!

"Shut. Up. Rosalie!" I told her off.

She sighed, but she didn't stop.

"It's not _my_ fault Bella doesn't have good hygiene"

She was really going too far. I wasn't about to let this demon insult the nicest person on the planet unwarrantedly.

"Good hygiene?!" I screamed "Have you seen _your _home?!"

Rosalie shut up. She looked as if she had just been slapped across the face, and it would have been good, would have been perfectly fine for me to stop there, but I didn't. I saw a look on her face that didn't fit her at all and I completely took advantage of it.

"Because I have! When Esme made me say goodbye to you after last time, I accidently walked into the wrong room, and you know what I saw? I saw your d-"

In an instant Rosalie had left her spot at the stairs and before I knew what happened I was underwater.

"Edward!" I heard someone scream, but it was muffled.

The lukewarm water rushed into my nostrils and it burned. My first instinct was to get to the oxygen, but something was holding me down. In my disoriented state I didn't even know what, I just knew I had to reach the air.

I cried out and it was muffled beneath the water. I tried desperately to reach my hands up, but to no avail. I was drowning! The more about it I thought the more panicked I became and the more feverishly I fought.

Suddenly, I found myself taking in a huge breathe of air before I even realized I had left the water.

"What the hell, Rosalie!" I noticed it was Jasper screaming. It was the most I'd ever heard him say.

He was holding me up, helping along to where I could sit at the stairs. Jacob was holding Rosalie, who still had a venomous look in her eyes, back.

"What were you thinking?!" Screamed Bella who was close to tears. "You almost KILLED Edward!!"

I was too busy focusing on breathing to say anything; I just watched the scene unfold before me.

"Oh shut it, washboard!" Rosalie shouted. "I don't know what the hell that brat sees in _you!_"

"Possibly…" She began in a sarcastically calm manner. "-someone who doesn't try to drown him?!!"

Rosalie sneered at her.

"Like I even care…" She muttered and stormed off.

"What the hell is wrong with your sister?" Jacob asked Jasper who only shook his head, seeming not to know.

"Are you ok?" The dog-boy asked me.

"Hey, where are you going?!" I called out to Rosalie instead of answering him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her walking out the fence door that encompassed the pool.

Unexpectedly, even to myself, I ran to catch up to her.

"I'm going home!" She shouted.

"You're just going to walk?!"

Jacob, Jasper and Bella had run to catch up to two of us, most likely unsure if Rosalie's murderous streak had left her.

"Yes, I am going to walk home" She told me between clenched teeth. "So the rest of you can have a nice life!..."

I stared at her. "You can't just walk home, your house isn't for miles!"

"Oh can't I?" She smiled. "Watch me!"

She began walking down the street, in nothing but her bikini, with her arms crossed. I couldn't let her leave like that; Esme and Carlisle would disown me! Something that was extremely possible considering the fact I was only a foster child.

"What about your stuff?!" I cried.

"Keep it!" She shouted.

"Rosalie! Rosalie, wait!!" I cried and started to chase her down the road, I could the footsteps of the others right behind me. "I'm, I'm sorry! Ok? I shouldn't have said those things!"

"You know what, Edward? I don't care!"

"Rosalie!" I heard Bella shout, sounding uncomfortable saying the girl's name, probably because she had only just met her. "Edward said he was sorry! Please don't leave!"

"So now he needs his girlfriend to defend him?!" Rosalie had stopped her dramatic stride to face us.

"God Rosalie…" I muttered underneath my breath.

"I'm not his girlfriend!" Bella shouted. It was obvious she was embarrassed by the way she was blushing. "Could you just… please wait for your mom to pick us up?"

Rosalie still had her arms crossed and was glaring at us.

"Yeah, I mean we're _all_ going to get in trouble" Jacob told her. "I don't know 'bout the rest, but my dad will kick my ass!"

"Boo-freakin'-hoo" Rosalie muttered, but she seemed to have calmed down a bit.

"I did say I was sorry" I told her. "Will you _please_ forgive me?"

Her nostrils flared as she exhaled and she quickly began walking past us in the opposite direction.

There was a collective sigh of relief.

"You weren't kidding about your cousin" Jacob chuckled.

My eyes widened at him like 'no kidding'.

"She's horrible, Edward" Bella told me and then turned to Jasper. "No offense…"

"Let's just wait 'til my aunt comes, ok?" I asked them and they nodded.

At the end of the day, after we had been dropped off and Jacob and Bella had gone home, I was exhausted, but Carlisle and Esme had something they wanted to talk with me about. Simply thankful that the day hadn't resulted in total anarchy, I took my seat at the kitchen table.

I didn't know what was about to hit me.

"Edward…" Esme began, looking back over at Carlisle who was tightly holding her hand.

I could tell by her tone it was something serious they wanted to tell me, I tried to think of what.

Maybe my time here had run up and I would be sent back to the Home…

My heart was racing and I tried my best not to let tears come to my eyes. I tried to calm myself down by telling myself there were a lot of things this could be about.

"We had a talk with Tanya today" Carlisle said slowly, looking me in the eyes.

Oh god it was about that! Had Rosalie told on me? Was I too much trouble for them?

In one split second, everything I built here could be gone; the friendships I had formed, the house I was finally starting to get use to, the people who were more and more starting to feel like parents to me.

I braced myself for the news.

**A/N: Was that a terrible place to end it? Oh well… : ) **

**Moving on; **

**Whoa! People are actually leaving me nice reviews! It's insane '-.-**

**I really expected to get a lot of negative comments… **

**So to those who did take the time to review: THANK YOU! I really appreciate the feedback.**

**So the issue, of course, of Rosalie's character was a hot one. She does come off as kind of crazy, maybe because I amplified her bossiness and need for attention… or maybe because I turned her into a pathological liar who gets all up on her cousin… ha ha! Anyway, I know a lot of you didn't like that, but I've got to tell you that **_**I **_**like her character being that way, and you know why? Because she's really interesting to write!**

**Hmm, anyway… Jacob and Edward as friends (or rivals?), what do you think? **

**I really liked writing Jacob, and I find myself really liking writing from Edward's P.O.V, but I think I'll have to go back to Esme or Carlisle's soon 'cause otherwise this might get too off-track (not that I have such a great idea where it's going though! ^^' heh… we'll see…)**

**Alright I'm done now, **

**WCE **


	5. Chapter 5

School was going fine, life was going fine, everything seemed relatively 'alright' for the most part. This was concerning, maybe not 'concerning' but it left with some sort of weird feeling. I couldn't really explain it, the more things went well the more worried I became that they wouldn't end up that way. I tried to shake those sorts of thoughts, but it stayed with me – in little things I did.

It was completely unjustified, I was sure. It was already October; the Cullens had kept me for months. It was like, no matter what I did, they always forgave me, even when they had caught me with Jacob's stash of firecrackers. Was it odd to find their willingness to forgive unnerving? I wouldn't ever voice these things, of course, not even to Bella.

On top of all my silent anxiety I guess it was no harm that something _would_ actually happen to shake things up a bit. He was waiting in my living room one Thursday after school.

A couple of months ago, Esme and Carlisle had sat me down for a 'serious' talk, and naturally I had feared the worst. Even having happened so long ago, I remember the fear I had felt so vividly, like I could just reach into the memory…

Again, they had proven to me there was nothing to fear. All they had wanted to tell me was that they were thinking of taking in another foster child. What did I care? It wasn't like I had exclusive rights to Esme and Carlisle. It would just be one more kid in the house, not a big deal, just one more kid to worry about and try to make time for, that was all.

It had taken such a long time, though. I think at first, something hadn't gone right, so they couldn't get the kid they had wanted or something. Esme had been upset, so I didn't really want to ask.

So here he was, now, sitting on my couch, no Esme or Carlisle in sight. I dropped my backpack at the door, knowing Esme would scold me for it later. I looked the kid over, if you could call him a kid. I had met him once before when Esme and Carlisle had brought him home for a visit, my first reaction was that Esme and Carlisle had decided to take in an NFL quarterback, not a seventh grader.

"Hey, Emmett" I nodded at him.

Even though I knew all the horrible things he must have been feeling at the moment, I wasn't really sure what to say.

The last time I had seen him, he had me in stitches. He was one of the most ridiculous people I'd ever met, in a good way. Today, though, he seemed nothing like that.

"Hey, Ed..." He smiled.

I looked around awkwardly trying to think of something to say.

"Did you unpack your stuff yet? I could help y-"

"Nah, man. I did that already…"

I nodded, and then a thought entered my mind;

"Where's Esme?" I asked, walking into the conjoining kitchen to grab some food.

Emmett didn't say anything. I peaked back over to the living room.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. "Where did Esme go? Do you know?"

"I'm not hungry" He told me. "Uh… Esme had to go out…"

Why was he beating around the bush so much? Was he trying to make me worry? If so, it was working.

I closed the refrigerator door and walked back into the living room.

"Did she say where she was going?" I stood in front of the couch, attempting to stare this kid down.

He looked around the room, obviously conflicted on whether he should tell me.

I continued to try and stare him down, impatiently.

"Emmett?"

He let a sigh that could've caused an earthquake.

"I don't know where she went… but she looked really sad when she left. She told me to wait here and she left a number by the phone…" He told me in a heartbeat.

I ran to the phone in the other room, but when I got there I could only stare at it. I picked it up, and immediately put it down again.

If something was wrong, I had a right to know, didn't I? But, she might not want to be bothered. She _did_ leave a number, but that was probably only for if it was an emergency.

A thought suddenly hit me. Was something wrong with Carlisle? Maybe he had gotten off work early and gotten into an accident!

I squeezed my eyes closed, tightly. Nothing's the matter with Carlisle, I tried to convince myself. He was a doctor, anyway, right? Not that that made him indestructible.

I sighed and picked up the phone again. I stared at it for a bit longer, before dialing the numbers I had memorized so long ago.

Every ring longer it took my heart beat faster. Something terrible had happened for sure!

"Hello?" The voice on the other end picked up and I almost felt like crying.

"H-hey" I answered. "…What's up?"

"Not much" She answered. "Are you alright, Edward? You're voice sounds kind of weird…"

I nodded thinking. I wasn't really sure what I had wanted to say to her, it was just good to hear a familiar voice.

"I'm fine" I was impressed by how even my voice had come out. "My new foster brother came today…"

I peeked into the living room where Emmett was now leaning in towards the TV intently. Football, I knew it.

"Oh cool, how is he? Emmett right?"

I stared at my feet, my sneakers were getting pretty beat, and I'd probably have to get new ones soon…

"Yeah it's Emmett, he's fine…"

"Are you _sure_ you're OK, Edward?" She pressed. I knew I couldn't very well lie to Bella, but I was beginning to doubt myself in a lot of ways, lately.

"Fine, Bella. Oh, I have to go now; I'll see you later, alright?"

"Alright, Ed…"

I slammed the phone back into the receiver, feeling quite ashamed of myself. Why did I have to act that way to Bella? She never did anything to me! She was the nicest kid on the earth.

I decided to try and go pass some time in the other room. I sat disinterestedly watching baseball with Emmett, who sometimes cheered _really_ loudly, or sometimes yelled at the TV _really_ loudly and other times made eager grunting noises _really_ loudly.

Ever since I was little, I had always wanted a brother. I use to imagine all the games we could play, or how he could take me places I wasn't allowed to go on my own. One time I had even asked my Mother to get pregnant and have a boy for me, I hadn't realized yet where babies came from.

I didn't notice I had laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?" He asked, smiling I think because I was. "Mariner's are losing"

I shook my head.

"Nothing" I answered quietly.

It had been funny, but I didn't really want to talk to him about my mom. I didn't even like to talk to Esme and Carlisle about her.

He shrugged and turned his attention back to the game. He was mouthing the words 'yes… yes…YEAH!' and then suddenly he was screaming it.

"Yes!!!!" He cried and then turned to look at me. "Did you see that? In-freakin'-credible! And they were going to trade him…"

Feeling embarrassed that I had no idea what he was talking about, I turned back to the screen.

It was replaying footage of the ball going right above the head of an outfielder who was pressed against the wall trying to reach it. I had to admit, it was pretty great.

"Who's that guy?" I asked pointing to the player who had hit the homerun.

He looked over at me in shock.

"Yo man that's _Branyan_, have you been living under a rock or something?"

"No" I told him despite the fact I knew it was what Esme called 'a rhetorical question'. It basically meant you were being fresh if you answered it. I wasn't too worried about Emmett though, which was weird because he looked like he could rip me in two with his little finger.

Emmett just seemed like a cool, nice guy.

I looked over at Emmett and thought it weird; he was almost exactly the kind of brother I had always wanted.

"We should play baseball sometime…" I said, unaware of where the thought had come from.

I looked over at him, unsure of how he would respond.

"Yeah, man, you play? Awesome. You know my last house was full of just _girls_." He laughed so I did too. "Not even pretty ones…"

If Bella was here she probably would have hit him for saying that, but seeing as she wasn't I just laughed along with him.

As bad as it sounds, I had almost all but forgotten that Esme was missing. I was really excited talking to Emmett, he was so cool. He played a bunch of sports, and watched really cool movies Esme and Carlisle wouldn't let me because they were rated 'R'. Plus he had apparently had a lot of girlfriends already. I told him I'd only ever kissed one girl, but I regretted it instantly. I made him promise not to tell, and he agreed, but seem all too amused.

It was in that feeling of stupidity I sat in when Esme walked through the front door. My heart dropped to the floor as soon as I saw her, she looked horrible. She seemed to have aged ten years in one day. There were large circles under her blood shot eyes, it was more than concerning.

She came into the room me and Emmett were in and let out a trembling sigh, then she closed her eyes. I wasn't sure what exactly she was thinking, but it was a long while before she opened them again.

"Rosalie and Jasper are going to be staying with us for a few days…" My poor foster mother sounded like she about to cry. I could only imagine what had happened. "They're in the car…"

"Should I help them bring in their stuff?" I asked, only wanting to try and mend the situation.

She nodded at me and swallowed.

"That would be very nice of you, Edward." Suddenly there were tears running down her face and she choked out her next few words. "I'm sorry this happened on your first day here, Emmett"

My poor brother looked completely bewildered, well it had only been a few minutes ago he was peacefully enjoying a baseball game.

"No, it's fine. Don't worry about it…"

I went outside and shivered in the suddenly cold air. Fall was always awful in Forks.

In the backseat of Esme's car, sat Jasper. Rosalie was in the passenger seat.

"Is your stuff in the trunk…?" I asked, loudly so that I could be heard through the closed window.

It was kind of hard to see, as it was now dark out, but they both seemed kind of out of it.

It made me not really want to know what happened. When I thought back to the day I was at their house, well I _didn't_ want to think about it.

I knocked on the window where Jasper sat.

"Hey" I tried to get his attention. "Is your stuff in the trunk?"

I got no answer, so I tried knocking on Rosalie's window. Suddenly, she turned her head to me, like she was just snapping back to reality. She looked at me and then turned her head to the other side.

"Go away, Edward" She said, but the window muffled her voice.

I stared at her for a moment, overwhelmed with sympathy for the two of them. Even if Rosalie was being her usual jerk-self, I felt bad for her.

"I just wanted to help bring your stuff in" I explained, frowning at her.

"I'm sure we can manage" She huffed.

I wanted to argue, but if she wanted to be left alone I wasn't going to push it.

When I returned into the house, Esme was sitting on the couch watching the blank screen of the television.

I bit my lip. I really wanted to say something to comfort her, as she had always done with me, but I didn't know what to say. I felt like someone had muted me.

I swallowed whatever ever thoughts I was going to say and instead made my way upstairs to my room. Across the hall Emmett's door was open, he was lying on his bed (with his shoes on, I noticed) air-drumming to a song on his I-pod. I thought it was pretty odd that he had something as nice as that, but I just retreated into my room and closed the door behind me.

I sat on my bed and sighed then I lay down on it and stared up at the white ceiling. It was one of those situations where you had a feeling that was usually a feeling that made you cry so you felt like you should be crying, but you weren't. I wasn't making sense anymore.

Between all the things that had been going on, strangely, I fell asleep with a blank mind.

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up, but I could tell by the light it was early and I felt like it would probably be best if I stayed in my room for a while. I wondered where Esme had put the twins, did she make them share the guest room- or would one of them be on the couch downstairs?

I shook my head and made my way over to my duffel bag. I had been living with the Cullens for months now, I had a closet full of clothes and a bunch of board games, even some sports equipment, but I had yet to take my books out of my bag.

It was peacefully quiet as I sat on my bed reading a worn copy of Romeo and Juliet, with what little sunlight poured through the blinds of my window. To be honest, Shakespeare was really difficult for me to read. The only reason I even attempted it was because Bella seemed to like it so much.

"Edward" I heard a knock on my door. To my surprise it was Carlisle.

I went to open the door and was met with his smiling face.

"Good morning" He greeted.

I stared at him questioningly; something was very suspicious about this.

"Good morning…" I replied out of obligation.

"Hey, what do you think about playing hooky today?"

That something terrible must have happened for him to even suggest that. I didn't like it at all.

"I have a really big test, and don't you have work?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"It's my day off" I could tell he was disappointed by my answer. "I thought we – you, I, Emmett and Jasper, could go play some baseball?"

I still wasn't sure about this.

"Esme won't like it, will she?"

"She'll be fine with it" Carlisle smiled and then winked. "You don't have to follow the rules _every_ day"

I sighed and looked at him once more. He really did look like such a professional person, with his hair combed back and perfect posture.

"Isn't it going to rain today?" I asked.

He laughed in response. "When you live in Forks, you eventually have to get use to playing in the rain"

I thought it over for a minute. There really wasn't any getting out of it, was there?

"…Ok" I answered.

"Good, why don't you get dressed? We'll pick up some breakfast on the way." Carlisle told me, curiously eager to get out of the house.

The car ride had been long. It was almost funny the differences between the two other kids in the car. There was Emmett who seemed unable to shut up if his life depended on it, and Jasper who hardly said a word.

I, for the most part, just stared out the window, watching storm clouds form above various Fork's landmarks - the diner, the high school, the church that always seemed creepy except for during mass.

We didn't even eat, we just went straight to the baseball field. I stood outside the car while Emmett helped Carlisle set up the bases. I looked up to the sky. It wasn't raining yet, but the sky was full of thick, gray clouds.

Carlisle threw me a glove and told me and Jasper to go play outfield.

My foster father stood on the pitcher's mound, while Emmett was taking some practice swings.

The sudden boom of thunder made me jump. Carlisle only looked up to the sky and said something like 'play ball', but I couldn't really hear.

Emmett took a confident stance next to the plate, and wore a huge grin on his face. I found myself taking a few steps backwards.

The wind blew harshly in an instant and I hadn't even noticed Carlisle had thrown the ball. Emmett's bat furiously collided with the ball sending it flying. I stood with my mouth agape, looking pretty stupid until I realized I was suppose to catch that. I watch the ball fly over my head and began running backwards. It was no use. I reached my glove up as far as I could, but the ball landed a good few inches behind me. It was embarrassing.

The next ball Emmett hit was just as, if not more, impressive as the previous. This time the ball went flying to where Jasper was playing. I watched him run faster than I ever would've imagined he could. My eyes were practically bugging out of my head when he jumped a what seemed to be a foot into the air and caught the ball!

As everyone stared at him, he stood there with the ball in his glove, smirking. He didn't even seem like the same kid anymore.

"My turn?" He asked, seeming pretty proud of himself (and rightfully so).

Jasper turned out to be equally good at batting, and I was still stinking it up in the outfield.

On his third hit, however, the ball had been hit straight to me. I felt it was finally a chance to redeem myself. I ran as fast as I could and held up my glove expectantly, the ball was headed towards it perfectly. That was until the roaring thunder messed me up. It boomed like a bomb had just gone off. It was my first instinct to move, and I ended up tripping over my own feet.

I would have liked to have stayed in the muddy grass like that, with my chin resting on my glove and the rain having had just started to pour on me. Unfortunately, Emmett had decided to come over and help me up. He held his hand out to me. I looked up at his smiling face, feeling like I wanted to hide my own, but I took his hand anyway and he pulled me to my feet. I knew he was strong, but I thought he was going to break my hand with how strong his grip was!

"Your turn" He said.

I looked around at the faces of my family who were all waiting on me. I sighed, shook some of the mud off of me and trudged over to the plate.

Carlisle was grinning at me as I took the bat and held it uncertainly. His smile only grew I got myself into an awkward stance.

I watched his wind up and tried my best to watch the ball as it came flying forward. I tightly closed my eyes and swung. After a moment, I opened an eye and looked around cautiously, the ball was right next to my feet.

"You can't swing with your eyes closed!" Emmett's voice bellowed across the field. My face burned with shame.

"Hold on a second" Carlisle said, dragging his sneakers through the wet dirt and over to me.

He grabbed my much smaller hands in his own and stared down at the bat.

"Hold it like this" He told me, placing my right hand above my left. "and when you swing, swing all the way through like this."

He held my hands on the bat and showed me how to swing. I was really grateful to him for helping me, but I couldn't help but feel he probably liked playing baseball with Emmett and Jasper, who already knew how to play well, better.

When I looked up, he was smiling at me, so I smiled back.

It took twelve pitches before I even made contact with the ball, and another three before I hit it.

When I did, I was completely shocked. I grounded out to third base and just stared at it, then I became aware of Jasper running in from the outfield to get it.

"Run!" Carlisle screamed at me, excited and almost laughing.

I looked over to him, still confused.

"Run, Run!!!" He told me, so I took off running.

I was determined to get to first, which Emmett had run to cover. I focused all my energy on beating the ball, which was making its way over to Emmett at the moment, to the base.

Just as the ball came down, I slid through the mud into first base. It gave me a huge adrenaline rush, and I could feel the corners of my lips rising.

Just as I was getting up, I heard Carlisle's voice shouting; "Keep going!!!"

I looked around to see that Emmett hadn't caught the ball and was now running over to get it. Quickly, I pushed myself towards second. When I got there, I was prompted to keep going so I made a mad dash for third, which Jasper had run to cover. I heard Carlisle cheering as my foot pounded against third base. Emmett had thrown the ball to Jasper, and I watched as it hit the tip of his glove and then fell to the ground. I was unable to control my wide grin, and I made off for home plate.

Jasper had thrown the ball to Carlisle. We made eye contact as the both of us ran as fast as our legs would allow towards home. I felt like my lungs were about to explode! I pushed everything I had into reaching that base, and as I did I felt a huge weight against myself. It hurt for all but a moment. I blinked, I found myself sprawled over the base, in a tangled mess with my foster father.

Suddenly we were both thrown into a fit of laughter. How ridiculous did we look?! My sides hurt, I was laughing and panting all at the same time.

"So what do the Umps think?" Carlisle asked, looking up at Emmett and Jasper who had made their way over to the scene.

Emmett exhaled, impressed. "Dude I couldn't even tell, that was insane!"

We all looked towards Jasper who only shrugged. "That could of been anyone's"

Carlisle smiled down at me.

"Tie goes to the runner" he smiled. "Good job, Edward"

It was one of the best feelings I had ever had. I was beaming as we loaded our stuff in the car. Carlisle put down some trash bags for us to sit on. I knew Esme was going to be furious when we returned home soaking and covered in mud, but I didn't even care. I felt like I had won the lottery. I kept replaying my moment of glory in my head the entire way back.

When we pulled up to the house, someone was waiting angrily for me - but it wasn't Esme.

Carlisle gave me a look when he noticed the soaking wet brunette sitting with her arms crossed on our front stairs.

I gave him a look right back and reluctantly got out of the car.

"Hey" I said standing above her in my heavy water-logged clothes.

She glared back at me. Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper walked past us and into the house.

I stifled my laugh as I heard Esme scream. I tried not to look amused, as Bella was still glaring at me.

"…What?" I asked.

"What?!" She mocked me incredulously. "Where on earth _were you_?!"

"Carlisle took me to play baseball…" I admitted.

I wanted to tell her of my amazing home-run, but I don't think she would've really appreciated It in her angered state.

"You went to play baseball?! I thought something bad had happened! You weren't in school today" She said crossing her arms again. "and you were really weird on the phone yesterday…"

"Yeah well…" What was I suppose to say to that? I couldn't think of anything. "Why were you sitting out here in the rain?"

She scrunched up her mouth for a moment.

"Because I didn't want to mess up _your_ house? Because I actually consider other people's feelings?"

I sighed, then a realization hit me like a ton of bricks…

"Isn't Charlie working? How did you get here?"

She smiled sarcastically.

"I walked here." She explained. "Because I was worried about an idiot who skipped school to run off and play baseball. I thought you were sick, but when I called no one answered…"

That was weird. I wondered what Esme had been doing.

"You walked all the way here, from school, in the rain?"

Was she an idiot? She was going to get sick!

"Yes" I saw her lip trembling, and then tears began to fall down her face. "I was worried about you!"

It was like a cold blade had pierced through my heart. I knew I shouldn't have left this morning. Bella had been my best friend since I'd moved here, she was the greatest thing in my life, and yet all I ever did was hurt her.

I wrapped my arms around her small frame, hugging her tightly without regard for how muddy I was.

"Edward…" She sobbed.

I rubbed her back, trying to calm her down. " Its ok, though, Bella. There's nothing to cry about"

She was still sniffling when she answered. "I know, but…"

"I was just playing Baseball, I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

She seemed to have calmed down so we both sat down next to each other and watched the storm fade out.

"It's kind of pretty when it storms, huh?" Bella asked and leaned her head on my shoulder.

I nodded. Sometimes the skies during a storm were every shade of purple - Bella's favorite color.

"I hit a home-run today" I said looking down at her pale face, watching the deep violet shine in her autumn colored eyes.

"Did you really?" She asked happily.

I nodded, watching the stillness of her soft, thin lips.

"Hey Bella" I ran my hand through her hair. "Have you ever seen a ghost?"

I smiled, she hadn't.

**A/N: **

**I'm seriously scaring myself with how fast I've been writing this! O.o **

**5 chapters in… 4 days? Agh! It's crazy. **

**As always, thanks to everyone who left a review - you rock, hard. : ) **

**Annnyway, I've decided I'm going to be writing this in Edward's P.O.V from now on because I find it a lot easier to. (is it weird a 16 yr. old girl can write more easily from a 10 yr. old boy's P.O.V than a thirty-something yr. old woman? ) **

**I guess I'll have to change the main characters then… **

**Okay, that's it. Oh yeah - Happy Mother's day!**

**Peace : D**

**- W.C. E **


	6. Chapter 6

All my life, I've never been able to do anything 'bad' and not be plagued with a terrible sense of guilt. I suppose you could call it a sign of a good moral gage or my Achilles' heel, either way it never seemed to fail. I had a feeling I was only just beginning to know how much one person could have on their conscience. A very strong, ominous feeling.

Esme had gotten a hold of me after I'd returned home from my baseball game. She had told me she ought to have me hosed off in the backyard, but instead sent me up to shower. Her good-will wasn't unappreciated.

Carlisle drove Bella home while I showered. I was hopeful she'd make it home before Charlie, otherwise Carlisle and Esme would never hear the end of it. All accusations being to their no-good foster son, of course. Charlie was like that, he could like you one minute, but if you even looked at Bella the wrong way he'd consider you the scum of the Earth. I could understand that feeling.

I turned off the rushing water. As I stepped out of the shower with nothing but a towel around my waist, I suddenly became aware I was not the only person in the room. I screamed.

There, sitting on the closed toilet seat as casually as lounging on a sofa, sat the most prevailing source of trouble in my life - Rosalie Hale. Her hair was different; it was curled, and her make-up was done up really nice, but none of that could mask her most prominent feature - the shiner on her left eye.

"What the heck are you doing in here?!" I demanded, feeling the need to grasp onto my towel a little tighter.

She shrugged and answered cutely; "I was waiting for you?"

I swallowed and tried to calm myself down.

"Get out" I said between clenched teeth.

"Esme took me shopping" She piped, ignoring me. " Do I look pretty, Edward?"

It was no good to feed that girl's ego, but I'd say whatever she wanted if I could get out of this bathroom alive.

"The prettiest girl I've ever seen" I deadpanned despite the truth of the words. "Will you go away now?"

She sighed, seeming bored. "I guess…"

I was relieved as she shut the bathroom door behind her. The feeling didn't last long, though, as I made my way down the hall to my bedroom. She was sitting on my bed.

"Get out of my room" I ordered. "I'd like to get changed."

"So change" She stared at me, as if it were some sort of challenge.

"I'd like to change in private, like most people" I frowned at her. "at least get off my bed."

She, instead, decided to spread herself across the course of my bed. I made a mental note to wash my sheets later.

"I like this" She said, closing her eyes. "It's soft"

Seeing the obstacle that was Rosalie as impossible; I grabbed some clean clothes and headed back down to the bathroom.

She was still infecting my room when I came back, this time going through my things.

"Stop that!" I hurried over to where she sat in my opened closet.

"This is your mom?" She asked, holding up one of the few vital possessions I owned.

I quickly snatched the picture back from her fingers and held onto it so tightly I would of killed it had it been alive.

I looked down at the picture. It had been taken at a park when I was very little and mom was healthy. Back then, she had beautiful long hair - the same color as mine, and a glow that didn't seem to exist in my memories of her. To be honest, I mostly remembered her sleeping a lot.

"Yeah…" I answered, looking up at the blonde-haired girl with the black eye.

Rosalie only nodded and then pointed to the infant in the picture.

"Is that little Edward?" She laughed.

I scowled at her. "Shut up"

I placed the picture back inside its shoe box home, all the while staring at Rosalie for fear she might snatch it back.

"Hey Rosalie…" I began, unsure of how to ask.

Her bright blue eyes blinked at me. "What?"

I took in a deep breath. It wasn't really my place to ask, was it? Did I even want to know?

"Nothing" I shook my head.

She looked at me, clearly thinking 'whatever', and got up to leave. Which is really what I wanted her to do in the first place.

"Wait-" I said unable to stop myself.

She looked at me expectantly, and I felt like hitting myself. She had been right when she called me a pussy.

"Did-" I began, staring at her painted toes. "Did… your dad give you that black eye?"

I spat the words out as fast as I could, only wanting the awkward question to be over and done with. I needed to know, though.

Her response was one that left me unsure. She looked me straight in the eyes and answered in an empty voice;

"No."

I watched the curls of her hair bounce as she left.

That night Esme did something I had never seen her do before; she ordered take-out. If that hadn't been odd enough, we were allowed - encouraged even, to eat in the living room. I supposed it was because there were now more people in our house than chairs at our table.

"Please be careful of the carpet" Esme warned me. It was obvious she hadn't completely loved the idea.

I nodded at her, taking a spot on the couch next to Emmett who also sat next to Rosalie. I didn't know what everyone had been doing all day, but apparently the two of them had already been introduced.

"Shut up, I did not!" Rosalie was saying, her face a bright red.

Emmett was laughing that deep laugh he had.

"Oh you did _so_!" He cried waving a hand in front of his face. "Can't you smell that, Edward?"

I sniffed. I didn't smell anything.

"What?" I asked, as Emmett laughed harder.

"Rosalie- she, she" He couldn't make out the words.

Rosalie slapped Emmett upside the head from where she sat on the arm of the sofa. I laughed. Even Jasper, who ate silently on the recliner, let out a small laugh.

"I did _not_!" She defended. "Girl's don't do that"

Emmett had to bite his lip to keep from smirking. "Sure they don't"

Then Rosalie leaned in and whispered something in his ear that made him nearly spit out his mouthful of pizza. His face was reddening and I frowned.

"Leave him alone, Rosalie"

She raised an eyebrow at me, amused. I scowled and looked away.

What did I care, anyway? I guess it wasn't really my business.

Emmett was still staring at her like he couldn't believe what he had just heard. He seemed to like it, whatever it was, though.

"She's crazy, you know" I told him.

He looked back at me and then at the blonde girl. He gave a smile that nearly took up half his face.

"Yeah. No kidding."

I found myself frowning at the two of them.

"No, she's really crazy."

Rosalie sprawled herself over the side of the couch, letting her empty paper plate fall to the floor.

"Bite me." She muttered.

At the sound of the front door opening, Rosalie erected herself at once. Emmett looked between the two of us, and Jasper said;

"Hi, Dr. Cullen"

The three of us on the couch turned around to look at my foster father who had just walked through the door. He was wearing his lab coat and carried his brief case with him.

When had he left? Hadn't he said today was his day off?

"Hey, Jasper" He replied good-naturedly and then nodded towards the rest of us respectively. "Edward, Emmett, Rosalie"

We greeted him right back.

"Who let you eat in here?" He asked, not seeming mad, but not quite believingly.

"Esme" The four of us spoke simultaneously.

He nodded.

"Wasn't today your day off?" I asked, curious.

He nodded again and then let out a breath.

"There was an accident" His voice seemed only slightly less enthused than it usually did.

I wondered if it was difficult to try and not sound down while saying that because the sentence made me feel horrible.

It made my heart sink. My mind reeled over all the terrible things that could have possibly happened, or who, in this small town, that I knew had been afflicted?

"What, uh, happened?" I asked a bit nervously.

He smiled down at me. "A car accident, nobody was hurt too badly. It's nothing you should worry about"

Despite his smile, I could still sense the pain within his voice. Although, I didn't question it.

Carlisle then walked off. He left a strange aura behind, and we finished our meal in silence.

When I awoke in the middle of the night, all I had wanted was a glass of water. I thought I would be able to handle such a small task without disturbing anyone.

I slowly opened my door, peeking out into the dark hallway. From what I could tell it was empty. I felt my way along the wall until I came to where I knew the stairs would be, and then proceeded down them quietly.

Across the living room, I noticed a light was on in the kitchen.

I wasn't afraid of being caught or anything, as I wasn't really doing something wrong, but I decided it would be better to just turn around and go back to bed.

I hadn't gotten very far when Esme's soft voice stopped me in my tracks.

"-not about the money, it's about the kids!" She was whispering from the other room, but loudly. "Well what are you going to do? They can't stay here forever, what about school?"

I heard her let out a sigh. I knew it was wrong to listen in on her conversation. I knew it as well as I knew the sky was blue, but despite the fact I felt I should leave, my feet wouldn't move.

"I know - I know" My foster mother was saying. "you know this isn't right, I can't keep bailing you out of trouble for the rest of your life!… No, no I told you it's not about the money - Carlisle and I have money… Do you realize how immature you sound?… That's exactly it, I don't want to see you make the same mistakes that I did…"

Mistakes that Esme had made? Could she have been talking about Carlisle? No, if there was anything in the world I was sure about it was that Carlisle and Esme were madly in love with each other. Could she be talking about taking me in? No, I didn't really think that would be the case…

"It isn't! It isn't different at all… it's still a sickness…one day you'll stop making excuses and put your children first… well what do you want me to tell them? You'll be back 'whenever'? You can't just be there when it's convenient, they need you all the time… I know." She sighed again.

"Fine, fine. It's obvious I'm going to have to be the responsible one _yet_ again. No, it's fine. … Call me when your willing to get your life together"

I heard her hang up the phone and I jumped. I focused on getting up the stairs as quietly and as quickly as possible. I was taking in all the things Esme had just said and was trying to calm myself down as I slipped into the bedroom.

I didn't notice that the door was open, even though I had left it closed.

"Hey!" A deep voice that had seemingly come out of nowhere said.

My eyes widened and then I found myself screaming. So much for not disturbing anyone. I took a couple steps back and nearly lost my footing.

I was trying to remember if there was anything in my room I could defend myself with. Should I run downstairs and try to call the cops… or should I try to run to the next room and get Carlisle? They told us something about this in school, but now that I found myself in the situation, I had forgotten it all. I was absolutely paralyzed with fear.

Suddenly the lights went on. _Ugh, what the heck _I thought, as I blinked and tried to get used to the light.

"Hey, it's just me" The voice said.

I blinked and the image of a muscled teenager with curly dark hair came into view. He was big enough to be a criminal, but the fact that he was wearing pajamas lead me to believe otherwise.

"Emmett?" I inquired. "What are you doing?"

What _was_ he doing in my room, in the middle of the night?

"Dude, I noticed your door was open, but you were all MIA…" He thought for a moment. "I thought you, like, might have escaped"

I raised a questioning eyebrow at him. His thinking wasn't rational in the least.

"And what, exactly, would I be escaping from?" I asked, attempting to follow his logic.

He shrugged. "Where were you?"

I felt a terribly guilty feeling rise from my stomach to my face.

"I… had to get a glass of water" I smiled, but it was completely and quite obviously fake. I mentally groaned.

Why was I so bad at lying? It would be the normal thing to assume that I had gone to get some water or to the bathroom, but no I couldn't even lie about that.

"… really?" He asked this time he was the one raising his eyebrow at me.

I turned my head slightly, it was hard for me to look at people when I lied.

"Yes…" I said softly. "Can I go to bed now?"

"Yeah, yeah, man. Sorry, just thought you mighta, like, gone out the window or something…" He said as he was shutting the door. " Whatever, night!"

I nodded at him and mumble a 'goodnight'. Emmett was such a strange person. This house was starting to become just as crowded and crazy as the Home had been.

I returned back to the comfort of my covers that I never did get around to washing. Of course the more crowded and crazy this house became, the less time I had to think about other, less pleasant things…

"Wake up" I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Wasn't it Saturday? I groaned. Esme always lets me sleep in on Saturday's… unless Carlisle's off work. I sat up immediately only to find myself staring at a perfected porcelain face. I wanted to punch it.

"Go 'way Rosalie…" I muttered, still a bit sleepy. "What time is it?"

"Time to get your butt out of bed!!" She shouted.

I was hit with a sudden wave of cold as my blanket was ripped off.

"Hey!" I shouted, suddenly more awake.

"Look!" She shouted, pulling on the blinds of my window. "It's snowing!"

I put my face in my hands. Of course it would be snowing, it was Forks after all.

"So?" I made a resolution right then and there that I was not going to be doing _anything_ that Rosalie wanted to today. It only ever led to trouble.

She smiled at me.

I ended up doing exactly what Rosalie wanted to do. How? That girl was evil, I doubt there was ever a moment in time Rosalie had been denied something. If I thought about it, I knew that wasn't really true. I just didn't like to think about it…

It was around six o'clock in the morning and Rosalie said if we didn't hurry we'd miss the perfect spot to watch the sunrise.

"You come here a lot?" I asked, pulling my feet through the piling snow. She had led me through a couple of yards behind my own (one of which had a very, very large dog in it) , and had now stumbled into a playground.

She stopped and pointed to one of those fort-like things with a slide attached to it. I didn't know what it was called, I didn't often go to playgrounds.

"That sounds like a pick up line" She said. "I use to…"

The sky was beginning to turn an orange-pink color as we stared up at it.

"Alright" Rosalie said suddenly. "Get up there"

I didn't hesitate. I climbed up the stairs until the reached the top of the tower and leaned against the railing.

I looked down at Rosalie who was wearing the new white jacket Esme had bought her while her light, curled hair blew in the wind against the backdrop of pure white snow. It was terribly ironic how bright she seemed.

"Not there" She shook her head and then pointed upwards.

Did she mean the roof? I let out a sigh.

"You want me to go up _there_?"

She nodded.

"and you're going to come up too?" I asked.

Once again, she nodded.

I felt the along the railing wet with snow, giving me a chill.

"I'll probably fall to my death" I said impassively.

"I'll go to your funeral" Rosalie told me. "Maybe I'll cry for you"

"Only maybe?"

She shrugged. The wind blew again, a bit harder this time.

"I'm not going up there" I told her, prompting her to march up to where I was.

When she reached me, she walked over to lean against the rail as well. She ran her hand along it, unveiling the smooth black metal underneath the snow.

"I will…" She smiled, making me feel a bit sick.

"Don't…"

She looked into my eyes and then pushed herself atop the railing.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Because you'll die…" I told her. "And then Esme and Carlisle would get mad at me"

"Ouch" She sighed and began kicking her feet. "This is pretty dangerous, huh?"

She turned to me, cheerfully.

I nodded. "Yeah, so why don't you stop?"

The warning had come too late, in an instant I watched her entire body turn over and lurch forward as her eyes widened with fear. I went to grab her, but I couldn't quite reach.

"Hey!" I screamed. I wasn't sure why I had done that, it was just what came out.

My heart was racing, I couldn't breathe and I had no idea what to do.

It was just as bad, if not worse, than last night. Dear god, Rosalie! I told her! I told her she would get hurt!

Suddenly I heard giggling. I stared over the railing and narrowed my eyes. Of course Rosalie would do something like that.

"Woops" She laughed, her feet now hanging backwards over the metal. "Way to save my life, Edward"

"Get over here" I impatiently held out my hand for her.

She looked at me as if I had destroyed any inkling of joy she had ever had, but she reluctantly took my hand. I helped her to her feet.

"You're always so… ughh" She made a face.

I was about to say something, but she cut me off.

"Shh" I could see the reflection of the rising sun in her eyes. "Let's watch this."

We stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the sky turn different colors and the sun fill the town with it's light. It was pretty, despite the cold and bitter wind.

"Hey Rosalie" I asked, finding it a moment I had the nerve to and wanting to capitalize on it. "How _did_ you get that black eye?"

She turned to me, looking genuinely ticked that I had asked that.

"I walked into a door?" She spat, so I frowned at her.

"No? then I fell. No? I got hit with a ball. No?" Her eyes towards me were slits.

"Just what would you like to hear, Edward?"

I let out a frustrated sigh. What the heck did she think I wanted to hear?

"What do you think?" I asked and she turned her cool eyes away from mine.

"So you want to hear the truth?" She asked, turning around to lean backwards on the railing.

She still wouldn't look at me.

"Yeah" I said honestly. It would ease the terrible curiosity and needless worry I had, even if I didn't necessarily like the answer. Chances seemed to be that I wouldn't anyway.

"You keep wanting things like that" She began with a far-off look in her eyes. "And you're in for a world of disappointment."

It was silent after that, and I pondered other whether she had said something profound or not.

I shivered in the wind.

"So what's the deal with Emmett?" She asked turning to face me again.

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly, the question had come out of nowhere.

"Like where he came from, what happened to his parents?"

It was a sudden realization that I actually didn't know very much about the giant who lived across the hall from me.

"Oh" I said. "I don't know…"

She nodded as if that was what she had been expecting. It was about this time that the sun was almost fully risen.

"I think I like Emmett…" Her voice was nearly a whisper in the howling wind.

For a reason I didn't know, my heart suddenly hurt. Rosalie put her hands on my shoulder, and I almost felt as if they belonged there. Her face moved slowly towards mine and mine slowly towards hers.

For a second time, Rosalie Hale kissed me. Only this time, I kissed her back.

**A/N: O.o epic twist! Or was it? Maybe not… Ah, poor emotionally disturbed children : ( **

**I think this chapter is a little shorter than the last few have been, but still I've been writing like crazy. O.O **

**Anyway, I feel bad for neglecting Jasper a lot (he's one of my favorite characters) so I'm trying to think of how and when I'll bring in Alice. I sort of want her to have that like 'freak' vibe about her with having visions and all, but I don't think Esme and Carlisle would really be qualified to take in someone like that… so I have to see how can I make her crazy(ish) without being so insane she'd be committed or be placed in a special needs home **

**: / **

**Feel free to give me any ideas : )**

**Oh yeah, I almost forgot to say it this time - thanks for the reviews! 3 **

**Going wit da flow, **

**W.C.E**


	7. Chapter 7

Kissing Rosalie left a bad taste in my mouth, but she was warm when the outside world had been so cold and it had felt good. I resented her for that. I hated the way lying was like a language she spoke fluently, and how she treated people as if she a little child and they were her toys; useless when they were no longer fun to play with.

I hated the way her eyes were brighter than Bella's, and how she found it so easy to hide behind a doll-like face, feigning innocence as if it were sarcasm towards the universe. Everything was like that to Rosalie, and I could only imagine why.

I thought about how I would've looked, compared to Rosalie and the snow. How my darker skin would scream out, sullying the peaceful quiet of the newly cleansed world. The red-brown of my hair would've looked dirty and unkempt next to the immaculate ringlets of soft blonde hair that fell onto her shoulders. I use to like my hair color, it was something my mother had given me.

She made me feel so _wrong_. I couldn't tell Esme or Carlisle, I definitely couldn't tell Bella. I think it was somehow understood that me and Rosalie weren't going to talk about it again, either.

I'm sure Rosalie thought kissing your cousin to be some sort of victory, I'm sure she had felt nothing at all…

The entire way back I wouldn't look at her. I walked two steps ahead of her, never looking back. What I felt would have been appropriate when returning back home, was to run to the bathroom and attempt to brush the horrible taste out of my mouth. I hadn't, however, and it was still there as I shoved my clothes into my bag.

I emptied everything from my closet and drawers, messing their neat folding as I threw them into my bag. I took everything I had brought with me (with the exception of some clothes that Esme and Carlisle had bought for me) and nothing more. I left my ball glove on the bedside table, next to the clock, and the board games neatly stacked in the top shelf of the closet. I pushed the chair in at my desk, and made my bed. Afterwards, I shoved my bag beneath the bed and sat against the wall beneath my window.

I drew my knees into my chest and placed my head between them. I had no idea what I was doing.

Downstairs, my family was enjoying breakfast - Emmett was undoubtedly doing something hilarious, while Jasper quietly smiled and laughed. Esme and Carlisle would pretend to laugh at some things, and genuinely at others. Carlisle would think no one could sense the stress on his shoulders, and Esme would believe no one had heard her crying herself to sleep last night.

Rosalie would, of course, just be the beautiful girl in the corner of the room.

Where was I in that distorted family photo? I lifted my head and exhaled a breath. The light reflected off the snow outside, leaving my room brighter than it had been in months. It now seeped in through the half-closed blinds, causing a ray of light to split me in half.

Honestly, what was I doing? Why couldn't I just go downstairs and enjoy breakfast with everybody? Why did I have to feel so guilty? Why couldn't I be more like Rosalie?

I jumped at the startling sound of Carlisle's car pulling out of the driveway. Breakfast might have been over, or Carlisle might have just left half-way through. Either way, the sudden change prompted me to my feet.

I walked outside my room, leaving my bag along with everything else exactly where it was and slowly closed the door. I stared at it for a moment afterwards.

At the Home it had been three to a room, I'd never had so much privacy in my life. It was one of the things I'd most appreciated when I came here, but now it seemed lonely.

I made my way downstairs and out the front door mumbling a simple 'I'm taking a walk' to whoever in the other room was listening. The cold air hit me in an instant, and as the door boomed shut behind me I shivered.

I was dragging my old and dying sneakers through the wet snow, staring straight ahead at the line of matching houses.

"Edward!" I heard an excited voice call.

I inwardly groaned. I decided not to stop, and continued on my walk.

"Hey Edward!" The voice called as I advanced down the road. "Hey!"

I was aware of the footsteps behind me, but I wouldn't turn around. This kid was just too annoying to be a coincidence, something was clearly working against me.

"Edward" He panted as he fell into step with me. "Where are you going? Can I come?"

"No" My answer was quick and to the point.

"Where are you going?" he repeated.

I sighed and turned to face the unusually tall fourth grader. His long, black hair stuck out oddly from beneath his hat.

"Nowhere that concerns you"

He scowled at first and then raised an eyebrow. "Somewhere fun, then?"

Was I going somewhere fun? I highly doubted it.

"No, probably not." I could see my breath in the air as I spoke and I subconsciously pulled my jacket tighter.

"Probably?" He questioned.

I sighed.

"Nowhere, Jacob"

"You have to be going somewhere" He smiled challengingly.

"Not me" My words were light and I shook my head. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Whatever" He said as we reached the end of the street. "Can I-"

"JACOB!!!" A loud voice bellowed, throughout the entire neighborhood I suspected.

"Crap" I could barely hear the kid mutter beneath his breath.

He turned around, calling out to me accusingly; "You're definitely going somewhere fun!"

I listened to the sound of my friend's feet running through the snow. I felt relieved and at the same time angry. I wasn't sure why I felt angry, though.

I didn't know where I was going. Maybe that had kind of been the point, but the longer I walked the colder, wetter and more tired I became.

I walked passed the library, glancing into the warm building's windows and watching people poke through shelves of books, a lot of which I had already read. I continued in to town, passing the diner and various other small-town stores.

In Chicago, there had been so much more going on and so many more places, but I hadn't been allowed to go to them. Mom got sick before I even started school, and all free time following was either spent at a hospital or babysitter's. I'm not sure I ever got a real feel for the city, but I remember our little apartment fondly. I remember how hard I had cried when I was told we'd be leaving it.

I smiled at the thought. I had been six then, selfish and naive.

I wasn't exactly sure how I wound up at the Swan's. I don't think I could've remembered the way again if I was asked to.

I was hesitant to knock on the door. I thought about just turning around and walking home, but instead rose a shivering hand to the door.

Charlie answered, his large form staring down at me from the doorway. He didn't say anything and for a moment we just stared at each other.

"Edward?" Bella asked, suddenly appearing next to her father.

She looked between the two of us for a moment and then back at her dad.

"Stay in our yard" He replied in a dull voice as he turned.

He handed Bella her coat before shutting the door behind him.

"Did Esme drop you off?" Bella asked, curious, as she focused on clasping her buttons together.

"No…" I sighed and she looked up towards me.

Her eyes were hazel, I think, but they may have been brown. It was hard to tell, but every time I looked at them they made me think of Fall. Not the miserable Fork's kind of Fall, but the real kind of Fall the rest of the world enjoyed.

"You walked?" Her voice sounded surprised, but not unhappily.

I shivered in the harsh sting of the bitter wind.

"It's so cold…" I muttered as we took a seat on the curb. "I really hate this weather. I hate Autumn in Forks"

She laughed at that.

"It's nicer in Phoenix" She told me.

Bella lived in Phoenix until second grade, which was when we met. I had liked her since she first entered the classroom. She had been quiet and shy, but she was always nice to people and so no gave her a particularly hard time. She loved to read, however, and so she never played with anyone at recess. That was something we'd had in common.

"Do you miss it there?"

The wind blew the messy curls of her hair behind her, exposing her pale face to the elements.

She thought about it for a moment before laughing.

"Only during the cold months" She smiled.

I nodded in agreement.

"You know, I didn't actually tell Esme I was coming here…" I wasn't sure why I felt compelled to tell her that.

She frowned at me.

"Do you not like it there, Edward?" She asked as if the question were made of glass and had to be held carefully.

Bella, even when I had first met her at seven years old, always had a way of asking the questions I had the hardest time answering.

Whether she was insightful or just plain uncanny I couldn't tell.

So did I like it there? I liked Esme a lot. She was one of the nicest women I had ever met, but she was always so sad. Even when she was happy she was sad, and maybe that had something to do with me.

Carlisle I liked just as much, he was smart and funny and all the things a father should be. He had to work a lot, though, and there was very seldom time for him to do much else. Sometimes he would work through the entire night, return home the next day and just sleep until his next shift.

Emmett was really cool, but even he had his mysteries. I hadn't spent very much time getting to know him, but despite what little I knew about him I liked the thought of him as my big brother.

Rosalie and Jasper? Well Jasper was a nice kid, but he was so quiet sometimes I'd forget he was even there. Unless he was on the baseball field, of course. There, he seemed more confident and charismatic. Still, for the most part, the two of us didn't talk.

As for Rosalie, she was a different matter entirely. I just wished _she_ would go home. Maybe that would stop Esme's tears. Maybe…

"Edward?" Bella's voice was even through the wind.

"I… like it there…" I struggled to find the words.

"But?" Bella asked softly.

She was always gentle when she spoke. She never felt the need to be harsh, it was in her nature. Although, sometimes I wished she would be more assertive and protective of herself.

"I don't know" I shook my head and sighed. "I don't think I really fit in there."

Bella's eye's held a look of sympathy.

"What do you mean?"

I sighed again. How was I suppose to explain it to her? How was I suppose to convey the ways in which my family had been falling apart around me?

"I mean…" I swallowed, unsure of what to say.

I let the breeze bridge our silence, as we sat in the cold snow, our bottoms becoming uncomfortably wet.

"I shouldn't have worn jeans today" I smirked.

Bella looked over at me like she saw something strange.

"Would" I began before she could say anything. "Would you… kiss me, Bella?"

Her eyes went wide and her face turned a bright red.

"What?" She asked frantically. "Edward I-"

I shook my head. "Forget it"

She looked at me, a deer in headlights.

"No, no, Edward. I-" I heard the sound of snow falling from the trees.

"I was only kidding" I forced my lips into a smile.

Bella looked me over once more and then gave a nervous laugh.

"Don't do that!" She cried, amused.

She took a handful of snow off the ground and gave me a smirk.

My eyes widened as I realized what she was about to do.

"Oh, no- no" I told her.

Bella only grinned harder, standing up as I did.

I took a few steps backwards.

"You'd better not!" I warned.

"Or what?" She laughed.

"Or…" I trailed off.

I couldn't think of anything and so I began running.

"Don't Bella!" I screamed at her, laughing as I anticipated her next move.

She raised her small hand, red fingers clutching the white snow and made a move to throw it at me.

I didn't even have to duck, she missed.

This caused me to be thrown into a fit of hysterics. Her face was so priceless! She couldn't believe she had missed.

"Shut- shut up!" She shouted, her face turning red again.

"I can't believe you couldn't hit me!" I cried. " You were only a few feet away!"

I watched as her shoes marched through the snow. I looked up to be met with her pouting face.

I began to run again.

"Oh you'd _better_ run!" Her laughter echoed through the empty street.

She was about to tackle me when she tripped over her feet.

"Bella?!" I cried, concerned for all but a moment until I saw her push her self up.

She looked really angry now. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You are such a klutz!" I was laughing when I heard the front door open.

We both turned to see Charlie exiting the house.

"Your- uh, Esme called, Edward" He told me. "She didn't know where you went"

I swallowed. I felt that familiar guilty feeling enter my stomach.

" Guess I forgot to tell her…" I stared at Charlie's feet. "Sorry, Chief Swan"

His shoes were probably as worn as mine.

I looked up to see him eyeing me suspiciously, and then glance over at Bella.

"I told her I would drive you home…" He said.

As we sat in the backseat of Charlie's old pick-up truck, I wasn't feeling any of the things I thought I should be. Mostly, I felt bad me and Bella were getting Charlie's seats wet.

"When you go somewhere, you should let your parents know where you're going…" Charlie was saying.

I was only really half listening and quietly muttering a 'yeah' here and there.

When Charlie pulled into the Cullens' driveway, Emmett and Rosalie were in the front yard playing much like me and Bella had been before. Rosalie was screaming at him, like Bella had been screaming at me. I couldn't tell what she was saying, though.

Bella was watching them through the window as if they were on display at the zoo.

"That one's Emmett? I think I saw him yesterday…" She muttered.

"Yeah…" I wasn't sure what more to say to that.

Charlie turned around to look at me and I took that as my cue to exit.

"Bye, Bella" I said and turned my head to Charlie. "Chief Swan"

He nodded and Bella waved as they left.

"You are in so much trouble" Emmett grinned like it was Christmas day.

My face fell. Never in my fantasies about having an older brother did they take joy in your misery, but maybe that was how they were. Reality is an awful thing.

I ignored him and his sidekick, who apparently was upset because her new hair was ruined, and made my way into the house.

I could see Esme waiting for me in the kitchen, looking much like she had when I'd come back the woods behind the Hale's house.

"You said you were taking a walk" Her tone wasn't so much accusing as it was disappointed. I think I would have preferred the former.

I took my wet shoes off and left them on the front step, then I closed the door behind me.

"I did take a walk" I told her, but it didn't make me feel any better.

" I thought you meant around the block or…" She raised her arms, unknowing.

"I only walked a few blocks…" Or a little more than that.

"But you didn't say you were going to Bella's house…" She sighed. "Edward"

Her face seemed so fragile as she stared at me and it was almost too much to bear.

"I'm sorry" I watched her bite her lip.

"You're soaked" She told me, seeming close to tears.

As if that was what was going to make her cry. My stomach filled with pain.

"I'm sorry, Esme" I told her, staring into her tired eyes. "I'm really sorry…"

She shook her head, looking down at the table where she sat.

"Edward…" She began again and then sighed. "I'm sorry if you feel like I've been busy the last couple of days, or that I've been neglecting you? Well, Edward you know that I love you right?"

I quickly nodded at her. Esme probably did love me. I kind of thought I loved Esme too.

"I'm sorry" I repeated causing her to also shake her head again.

"It's alright" She told me. "It's fine, just please next time tell me before you go somewhere?"

"I will" I told her, unsure of whether or not I was lying.

"You know I'm never too busy for you, right?" She told me, her voice sounding so warm.

"I know, Esme" I told her and she seemed content with that answer.

When I got upstairs, I entered my room with the intention of putting all my stuff back. I didn't want to hurt the Cullens feelings anymore than I already had.

I opened my door and walked straight over to my bed. I felt underneath it for my bag, but I couldn't find it. I took a look only to discover it wasn't there. I blinked, but it still wasn't there.

I opened my closet and all my clothes were hung. I opened my drawers and everything that had been in them was there, they were in the wrong drawers - but still there.

My heart sank, I hoped it wasn't Esme who had discovered my things. I thought back to my talk with her. Had she done anything that would imply she had seen my room? I wasn't sure, but then, who else would have done it?

I could hear Emmett and Rosalie outside, still screaming and laughing.

I furrowed my brow. Across the hall, on Emmett's bed reading novel, sat Jasper. No. Could it have been him? No, he wouldn't do something like that. Would he?

I stared across the hall quizzically until the blonde felt my gaze upon him. He looked over to me and blinked soundlessly.

He swiftly turned his attention back to the novel.

I smiled at him despite the fact he wasn't looking at me.

I thought for a moment, and then grabbed the Shakespeare novel that had been placed on my desk.

I took a seat next to Jasper on Emmett's messy bed. He looked over towards me and then went back to reading his book. I began to do the same.

Emmett was a cool kind of kid, but Jasper seemed nicer. I guess I sort of liked both of them for family.

I smiled as I began to read; a tragedy.

**A/N: … I don't even know. All I know is insomnia sucks **

**So, yeah, sorry if this chapter's pretty crappy… **

**I feel bad for Edward though… ****Romeo and Juliet****'s a bitch to read! XP **

***heart* Thanks for the reviews : )**

**Blah blah blah I need to stop writing so much at weird hours, **

**W.C.E **


	8. Chapter 8

"Sometimes mom would go to the store" She said. "and just not come back"

She looked into my eyes as if I were suppose to take the anger behind hers away. I wondered why she was telling me this now, why she had been living at my house an entire week before she decided to say anything, and why when she did it was at three o'clock in the morning.

"For days at a time…" Her hair fell lazily onto my sheets.

I blinked in the darkness. The head of the bed was rough on my back, but I held my pillow tight against my chest.

"Is she…" I began, tired and uncomfortable. "-not coming back this time?"

"I don't know… maybe." She shrugged. "She usually comes back."

She got up to leave and I made no move to stop her. For the past few days Rosalie would wander into my room at night, sometimes waking me up to tell me something as frivolous as who a celebrity was dating now.

I had no idea the reasoning that went on in her head, but I felt in some ways I was beginning to understand her. It was difficult, however, because all I ever began to understand was how simultaneously easy and difficult it was to understand someone.

I had never thought the world to be all black and white. I knew there were shades of gray, but Rosalie was a million different colors altogether. I hated her and I liked her, she was breathtakingly beautiful and the ugliest person I'd ever met, she only ever left me confused and at the same time made some things clearer than they had ever been in my life.

I heard another door open, in the quiet and stale air of the house. Every night she'd leave my room and go straight into Emmett's.

Part of me would have liked to believe her sole intent was to keep me up at night, part of me felt my existence in her life ended the moment she closed my door behind her. The world was Rosalie's playground, I was just a toy.

She left me with time to think, cramped against the corner of my bed at odd hours of the night. But I didn't want to think of her.

Of course I knew better than to blame her. There was no blaming Rosalie, I knew that.

I wanted to think of Bella. I wanted so badly for Bella to be like Rosalie, but Bella wasn't. She wasn't anything like Rosalie at all. Rosalie was wrong and she was easy to be with, she was so easy, but Bella wasn't. Bella was someone all her own, Bella was _scary_.

Bella's skin was not the same porcelain as Rosalie's, but she was fragile. Bella was someone only I could hold, and the question it always came back to was; could I hold such a fragile thing and not shatter it into a thousand pieces? Could I trust myself enough? I just didn't know.

All I knew was everything was changing, and I didn't like it at all.

Sunday morning came after a long and exhausting week of dealing with Rosalie's normal theatrics, trying to convince Bella that nothing was wrong and marveling at Emmett's stupidity (that or general disregard for the safety of our home.).

All I wanted to do was sleep in, if by chance some higher power allowed it.

We hadn't gone to church last week, and Carlisle was working today so I had thought the odds might be in my favor. I truly had no idea what blessings would await me at the breakfast table that morning.

"Good morning" I sleepily told Esme.

I took a seat at the table next to the only other occupant, Emmett.

"Good morning" Esme smiled while setting down two plates of scrambled eggs.

I grinned. If there was anything Esme was good at it was cooking. Esme was good at all kinds of mom-like things: cooking, cleaning, etcetera. I couldn't remember a time when my own mother had been able to do such things.

I was sure, though, had she been in better health she would have been the best at them.

"Thanks" I heard Emmett say and so I followed suit, embarrassed I hadn't remembered.

"You're very welcome" Esme smiled and took a seat across from us.

It was then that I realized Esme had made no more plates. I looked around the spotless room and then back at Esme.

"Did Rosalie and Jasper leave?" I inquired.

Esme shone me her motherly smile.

"Yes" She said. "Emmett, dear, chew with your mouth close"

Emmett less-than-excitedly complied with Esme's request and I hesitantly took a small bite out of my own food.

For what had felt like forever, I had been eager for my cousins to return home. Now that they had, however, I had an odd feeling. Perhaps, I had grown used to them was all.

"So…" I began watching the different shades of yellow on my plate merge together beneath my fork.

I knew, in this house, there were lots of things I shouldn't ask, unless I wanted to make Esme upset. Esme's happiness was a delicate thing that thrived on half-lies and faked smiles these days, but still I couldn't stand to see the woman sad.

"Yes?" Esme asked waiting patiently for me to continue.

"Aunt Anna came for them?"

What I really wanted to know was what was going on with my uncle, because he, I suspected, was the core of this mess. Unfortunately, I hadn't the guts to ask.

"Yes" Esme answered beginning to delicately fork through her own mess of yellow.

"Oh" I replied.

Emmett, I noticed, was being unusually quiet. I turned to him and watched as his shoveling of everything on his plate into his mouth came to a stop. It was pretty gross.

"What are you going to do today?" I asked.

Maybe me and him could play baseball again or something like that now that the snow had almost completely melted.

"Got plans" He mumbled, dumping his dishes in the sink .

I sighed. Bella was having relatives over and Carlisle would be working until late, that only gave me one other option.

"Can I come?" I tried.

I knew it was rude of me to try and invite myself into his plans and that he'd probably be embarrassed to have a fifth-grader tagging along with him , but I was really desperate.

At that both Esme and Emmett shook their heads. Did Esme not want me to bother him either? I guess that would make sense, perhaps I wasn't very good company.

A lot of kid's at my school and the Home thought so, I was often left the odd man out. It Hadn't always been that way, when I started school there had been lots of kids who had tried to befriend me - none of them had really worked out, though.

At the Home, kids were coming and going so fast they wasn't much time to make friends. There was time to make enemies and meet people who should be avoided, however, as it was usually the odd ones who stuck around the longest.

I think Esme could see the disappointment on my face because she told me;

"I'm sure Emmett won't be doing anything too fun, will you, Emmett?" She looked over at the giant.

He nodded, seeming somewhat unhappy. What did he have to complain about? He was probably going to visit friends or something, I was the one who'd be having a miserable time.

"No" He sighed with a scowl directed at Esme. "No fun at all"

Esme gave the boy a reprimanding glare.

I had no idea what was going on between the two of them, but being left out in the dark was something I was starting to get used to here.

I waved goodbye as my foster mother pulled out of the driveway. Emmett sat in the passenger seat, bobbing his head to some song that undoubtedly blasted too loud through his headphones.

Esme hadn't asked if I wanted to come with her, I guess she thought Emmett wouldn't like it. That or something else, something once again no one would tell me of.

I sat on the steps and placed my chin in my palm. Curiosity killed the cat, didn't it?

I inwardly groaned as I saw my smelly, dog-loving neighbor approach my house. I knew today would wind up like this, and yet here I had let myself sit; a zebra in a field of lions.

"Who kicked your puppy?" He chuckled.

I raised an eyebrow at his weird analogy. I took it to mean 'What's wrong?'.

"Nothing" I sighed.

"Your always out here, looking depressed" He scratched at the deep brown skin of his face. "You're no fun at all"

"Sorry if I cease to entertain" I shrugged.

"You wanna see something cool?" He suddenly asked.

I could almost feel the sudden burst of excitement that went through him. Of course I didn't want to see something cool, Jacob never had anything 'cool' to show me - only bad ideas or gross things.

I bit the inside of my lip. "What?"

He grinned. I was surprised with the way this kid often acted that he had been able to keep all his teeth intact.

He somehow managed to drag me over to his house, which was nice and very similar to my own except for the smell.

He struggled with the garage door which still had a bit of ice around the edges, and I watched leaning against the Black's truck. It hadn't been driven in years, as Jacob's dad was handicapped.

I would hear the bark of a dog every few moments and it would startle me every time. I was worried that Jacob might decide to spring another one of those monsters on me again, but I wouldn't say anything to him for fear he might be inspired.

"Check it out" He was still grinning as he pointed to two bikes leaning against the side of his garage.

I impassively raised my eyebrows.

The bikes weren't exactly the most wonderful I'd ever seen. One was black, though the paint was chipping off and the other was green and rusted. It probably wouldn't have been very polite to ask him what century those came from, even if I was curious.

I didn't say anything, just stared at him for a moment.

"Take your pick" He acted as if he had something wonderful to offer.

I was sure that if I asked them (although I very rarely asked them for anything, seeing as they gave me an awful lot), my foster parents would have bought both me _and_ Jacob new bikes; nice, new, safe bikes.

"Fine then" He shook his head, shaking out his extremely long hair. "I'll be riding the Green Machine"

Oh dear lord, he had nicknames for them.

Today was going to be fun, I thought to myself feeling a headache coming on.

So far there were only a few I couldn't trust in this world: Rosalie Hale, Mike Newton and the media. As of October eleventh, however, Jacob Black was added to that list.

It wasn't like he hadn't given me reason to before, but after nearly losing my life because of him, I thought it was about time to add him.

"You fell _hard_" Jacobs eyes were wide as he met me at the bottom of the hill.

He seemed impressed.

Meanwhile my ankle was crying out in pain, and I didn't want to move it. I bit my lip and glared at my neighbor.

"What?" He asked.

"Going down a giant hill is not the right time to tell someone the brakes on their bike don't work!" I shouted.

The pain was still pulsating throughout my ankle.

He probably _was_ trying to kill me. What had he expected me to do? We were headed for one of the few busy streets in the entire town, I was forced to throw myself off 'Black Beauty' and into the bushes that lined the sidewalk.

My ankle felt as if someone were beating nails into it from both sides. I cringed, feeling like I ought to be hurting this kid.

"Sorry. Can you walk?"

I shot him a look. Yes, I could walk just fine - let's go run a 5k.

"I think I hurt my ankle" I pointed to the appendage in question. It was throbbing with pain.

He pushed his lips to the side of his mouth in thought.

"Try standing up" He said as if he had just discovered the cure for cancer.

Why were all these people inflicted into my life? Why couldn't I just be with Bella?

I winced as I placed my scratched-up hands on the cool pavement and attempted to push myself up. The dirt from the sidewalk burned the cuts on my hands, and as I tried to apply pressure to my foot it felt as if someone had hit it with a brick.

"Agh!" I cried out in pain.

It was no good, I fell right back down - this time in more pain. I blinked a few tears out of my eyes. I didn't care if Jacob thought I was being a wimp or a pansy or whatever, I only hoped to be able to walk home.

Jacob had made an attempt to catch me before I hit the ground, and failed.

"Ouch" He winced looking at me. "Don't do that again"

I marveled over the insight he had.

I exhaled. The cold of the ground beneath me was beginning to numb me, at the same time it hurt.

I hoped to god I hadn't broken, or sprained, my ankle. I hated hospitals, as most people did. Not to mention, I'm sure it would be a thrill for Esme to have to deal with this. I just couldn't stay out of trouble, could I?

"I have to get up" I muttered.

Once again I tried to push myself up, my fingers turning red against the white concrete and ankle feeling as if it were nothing more than a toothpick.

I clenched my teeth together and tried to block out the pain, but without fail I fell again. Jacob had caught the sleeve of my sweatshirt and let me down slowly.

"Aghhh" I hit my palm against the ground, causing a loud, cold thud.

The blood rushed into my hand painfully, angering me more.

I must have looked like an infant throwing a temper-tantrum. I hated when the things Rosalie said about me turned out to be true, I did act like a baby.

"Chill out" Jacob frowned at me.

I placed my head in my hands, trying not to cry. Everything felt cold and it stung. It all hurt so much.

"Hey, hey calm down" Jacob said as my shoulders began to shake. "I'm going to get my dad, no wait- I'll go get Esme, ok? Ok."

"No" I whined.

I really, really didn't want to bother Esme with this. Not after she had seemed so happy this morning.

I threw my head back and sighed. What was I going to do?

"If you can't walk, I'm not going to carry you home…" He seemed ticked off by the idea.

With as big as Jacob was, he probably could of, but obviously that wasn't going to happen.

I thought to myself how I had to get up, but my ankle was way too sensitive to try again.

I clenched my fist, my fingers agitating the cuts.

"Fine." I muttered, defeated.

Jacob had run off to get Esme, leaving me alone on the side of the road with two beat up bikes on a cold fall day.

I waited patiently, not having any other choice, until Esme's little car pulled up next to me.

"Edward!" She gasped, quickly abandoning the car and running over to my side.

I looked away as she took in the scene, she seemed completely horrified.

I felt compelled to apologize to her, but my mouth wouldn't utter a word.

"Oh dear" She exclaimed. "Are you alright? Jacob said you can't stand, here let me help you"

Her hands were warm as she grabbed my cold, red fingers. She helped me to my feet and then had me lean against her. The fabric of her sweater was soft and felt good against my cheek. She smelled sweet, like she had been baking.

She helped me into the passenger seat and closed the door.

Through the window I watched Jacob, who had ridden with Esme on the way over, pick up his bicycle and begin walking away.

Esme stuck 'Black Beauty' into her trunk and told him we'd return it later.

She came back to her seat and started the car.

"The brakes didn't work?" She asked, clutching the steering wheel tightly as we sped off towards the hospital.

"Yeah…" I answered softly.

"He's never getting that back"

I almost laughed.

Esme helped me into the entrance of the hospital. From the moment I took one step in, I could smell that horrible disinfectant smell. It was like the smell of death.

My stomach was in knots as my foster mother made her over to the receptionist, I clung tightly to her.

"Dr. Cullen" She was saying in an urgent tone. "Dr. C-U-L-L-E-"

The woman cut her off. "I know Dr. Cullen, everyone here does. Hold on a second I think he might be with a patient"

The woman picked up the generic black phone that sat at her desk. I remembered those phones. When I was younger, they'd sometimes let me play with them.

I smiled at the thought, but still felt nervous.

"I'm his wife" Esme stopped her. "It's an emergency"

Then the woman looked over towards me, her darks eyes running over my body.

"I think he sprained his ankle" Esme explained.

The woman nodded at her.

"Dr. Cullen" She said into the phone and it came over the loud speaker. "Paging Dr. Cullen"

Esme stared at the woman expectantly. The receptionist only shrugged and handed her some papers.

"You can fill these out while you wait" She informed us.

Me and Esme sat there in the waiting room for a very, very long time. It was uncomfortable, as everyone sat around reading a magazine or filling out paper work.

Every cough had me on edge. If only coughs were the half of it, some people came in with gaping wounds or looking like they were in terrible pain. I couldn't watch.

"Are you alright, Edward?" Esme peeked up from the green sheet she had been filling out.

I nodded. "I don't really like hospitals… you know?"

She frowned and nodded.

"A little creepy, huh?" She asked taking a look around.

"It's alright, though." She reassured me.

My ankle was beginning to hurt less, but I could still feel a faint throb of pain.

Eventually I saw a familiar figure come into view. I could feel my face light up.

"Hey" He greeted, his worried eyes quickly looking me over. "What happened?"

He turned to Esme who looked relieved at the sight of her husband.

He stood above us, with his blonde hair combed back and his lab coat looking neat as ever, waiting to hear what had gone wrong.

"Edward took quite the fall on his bicycle" Esme sighed.

"Edward has a bicycle?" He asked and then looked at me suspiciously.

I could only wonder what he was thinking.

"Jacob has bikes" I told him, feeling odd beneath his gaze.

"_Had_ bikes" Esme corrected with a bitter tone and then got back to business. "I think he might have broken his ankle"

Carlisle looked down at my legs and I pointed to my left one.

"Well let's see" He said and lead me down the hall.

Carlisle had been really nice with everything. The machine that took my X-ray was a bit daunting, but he assured me it was fine and it had been. It hadn't hurt at all.

When the process was all over and done with, we returned out to the waiting room to see Esme.

"Look" I exclaimed pointing to my cast.

It was really cool, Carlisle had already signed it and one of his co-worker's had drawn a picture of a monster on it. It had huge fangs, I liked it.

"Oh" Esme's eyes were wide. "That's… lovely"

I smiled. I wasn't sure if she actually thought so, but I was very proud of it.

"Wait till Emmett see's this!"

Esme nodded at me and then turned to Carlisle.

"So what's wrong with it?" She asked.

Esme was running her fingers through my hair and it felt nice.

"Nothing too bad" Carlisle grinned down at me. "Just a little sprain"

"I can't wear my shoe…" I suddenly said staring at the toes that peeked out from the cast. Carlisle had told me I would need to wear a slipper.

"It's getting late, isn't it?" Esme asked me, smiling. I smiled back at her.

"I gave him a little something for the pain" Carlisle explained.

He handed her a little orange bottle. Those were also very, very, familiar. My mother had had billions of those. The doctors were constantly changing them, white pills, blue pills, little translucent liquidly ones. Some made her happy, some made her tired, some made her thirsty or gave her headaches. None of them had done much in the long run.

When I had accidentally walked into my uncle's room a few month ago, I had found a similar scene. Empty bottles lined the small, messy dresser and half-filled ones sat atop the bedside table next to an empty glass.

In the center of the bed, atop a bare mattress had been Rosalie and Jasper's dad. He was wearing only a t-shirt and boxers, and I could clearly see all the red marks that lined his arm. It had been terrifying, and I ran out as quickly as I could.

I shuddered at the memory. I wondered where he was right now, what Rosalie and Jasper and their mother were doing. If someone was being hurt…

It was a terrible feeling of worry, I wanted so desperately to ease, but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't ask Esme if it might upset her, I just couldn't. Also, I trusted Esme to take care of my cousins. She wouldn't put them in danger, would she?

No. I shook the thought. Of course Esme would never put anyone in danger, that was one of the craziest things I'd ever thought. Carlisle must have given me something good.

"-should get him to sleep" Carlisle was smiling at me oddly.

Once again I felt compelled to smile back.

"Thanks" I told him leaning forward on my crutches.

He patted my back good-naturedly and grinned. "No problem, you've been my favorite patient all day"

Carlisle had to stay at the hospital for a few more hours and so we said goodbye.

When I got home, I was exhausted.

I somehow managed to get upstairs to my room, maybe someone had helped me? I wasn't completely sure.

I spread across my bed and tried to keep my eyes open. My eye lids kept falling down and I yawned.

_I wonder what Rosalie and Jasper are doing_ I thought before closing my eyes.

Then I drifted off into a peaceful slumber that, for the first time in days, wouldn't be disturbed in the middle of the night.

**A/N: So more light shone on Rosalie's and Jasper's dad. Although what's wrong with him is probably not what you think. (I don't really know what you think, but… egh maybe) **

**Well Jacob's a jerk, huh? Nah, he's just a helpless idiot : D **

**Alice'll be coming soon, I think, so… yay? ( yay! ) **

**Anyway, thank you for the reviews. It was nice of you to take your time and leave me them : ) **

**Much love, **

**W.C.E **


	9. Chapter 9

Pressure pounded against pitch black streets, it dragged the tip of a new, clean nail against a chalk board. I shuddered in the cold. The wind swayed me back and forth while the tragic screeching noise continued. Cotton's hollow breath ran heavily within my ears and the world spun around me with child-like laughter. Where was I?

Fire soared throughout my throat and earthquakes plagued my arms. The ground was coming up, I realized. Small, pale toes became as black as the night as they shared their blood with the ground.

It kept a beat. Like a heart, it thumped. Small, pale toes exploded with every step as they ran on landmines, but they had to keep running. _Keep running. _

His stomach had been tied off, ripped apart, hastily thrown back together again - sweaty, boney pipettes sticking stinging skin against the same, salty, colorless flesh leaving it in bright red flames. _Keep running. _

The world was so silent, as if someone held a pillow against its mouth. We were all choking on the fibers, our lungs growling within the oppressive cages of our bodies - prisoners. Where was he going?

The night grew darker, my eyes blinder. I could hear the screeches, tires against god-forsaken, lonely roads, it was all muffled, distorted and blinding. They played augmented chords, I felt all eyes on me. The shadows grew longer, the screeching grew louder, blood dripped and fell away. Who was taking it? All that the gutters washed away for the laughing antagonist whose eyes I could feel. I could feel them stripping me bare, I felt them like a whip perfectly slicing open just the right amount of tender, baby skin. I felt the burning, and I felt the fire and I kept running. _Keep running. _

Where was my mother? It was too dark to see, I couldn't cry out. We were all stuck in the suffocating blanket of our fire, they were drowning us in flames - we burned, us demons - all of us, dying.

Mother? He was so small, he was the lightest little twig falling from the tree, helpless beneath the stampede. Feet, thousands of them, running - the beat, the heartbeat, rose and fell like the notes of a piano.

All the limp and bleeding fingers felt beneath them, with the jagged wires of nerve-endings they held like fallen soldiers, was the endless abyss of freezing pavement that grated into them so lovingly. She wasn't here. Where was he? Why was he so small? _Run_.

He couldn't move. _Run! _Who said that? Where were they? Cinder blocks dug into the cold depths of the earth, they scraped away every last breath. The silence stung as they tore him apart, ripped him limb from limb and left him lying there - broken baby bones and cartilage confetti. The eyes had broken so long ago; dull, glazed, defenseless without a voice to cry for mercy. They saw nothing, smelled the aggressive smoke, sweat and blood that kicked at his open cage of a hollow stomach, heard screeching and silence and heartbeats like thunder, felt the burning, felt the sickness and the cold, and knew it was inevitable. _Die here. _

I suddenly felt the feel of the fabric once more, this time soft within my trembling hands. It was still so dark, I blinked.

"Are you alright?" A voice called out in the darkness.

Was I alright? Where was I?

I blinked and took a look around, letting my eyes adjust. Silhouettes of a closet, table, desk… my room. I was in my bed and somebody was sitting next to me.

"Wha-… what happened?" My voice felt weak.

"You were having a bad dream is all" I listened to the soft and gentle notes of her voice.

It was Esme.

"Oh" I mumbled softly.

I felt tired, I had been having a dream? Oh that's right a nightmare.

I shuddered. I had been so helpless, I had felt so… _exposed_ to everything.

I became aware of the tears that sat in the corner of my eyes, they were wet and uncomfortable. I never wanted to feel so helpless again.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Esme gently asked.

I looked up at her, unsure. I could feel my lip trembling and my body start to shake. What was I suppose to tell her? How could I explain it? I wasn't completely sure what had happened in my nightmare, only that it had left me with a terrible, sick feeling. I felt like throwing up.

"It's alright, Edward" She whispered empathetically. She grabbed me tight against her shoulder, an attempt to stop my shaking. The tears were running faster now.

"I didn't know what to do…" I cried into her embrace.

What should I have done? _Keep running_, I suddenly remembered. I had tried to, but I couldn't. I tried as hard as I could, but I was paralyzed. I wanted to so badly, but I couldn't. It was all she had wanted me to do, and I just couldn't.

"I couldn't!"

Esme immediately clutched me tighter, the fuzz of her bathrobe feeling good against my bare arms. I sobbed openly against her.

"It's alright, Edward" She whispered into my ear, her breath warm and her voice clear. "There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm right here, sweetheart. It's alright"

Her soft hands had been rubbing circles on my backs, and it was a wonderful feeling. Esme just kept holding me, tight like she'd allow no one to come and take me away from her.

She stayed with me for a while, just holding me. Esme was so warm, and gentle and safe - she just stayed there until I fell back to sleep.

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I awoke the following morning, with the familiar feeling of having cried myself to sleep. My eyes were sore and crusted, but it came with a light feeling as well.

I took a few minute to make myself nice - brush my hair, my teeth, wash my face.

Today was a 'special day', and so I took out the nice white button-up shirt Carlisle had bought for me and matched it with the dark pants that went with it.

I didn't really enjoy getting so dressed up, but if it made my foster parents happy I couldn't really complain. I wouldn't admit that I agreed with Emmett, who had argued that we shouldn't have to dress up in nice clothes on a day when all we were going to do was eat, although secretly I did.

Carlisle insisted, of course, that we had to make a good impression on our 'family'. I guess it wasn't so bad, I thought as I looked in the mirror.

"Hey, when you're finished putting on all your make-up, can you let someone who actually has to use the bathroom in?" I heard a knock at the bathroom door.

I scowled towards it before opening the door. I almost burst out laughing. Emmett was standing there in a shirt similar to mine that might as well have been the same size because it barely fit him, and his hair comb backed in a ridiculous fashion.

"What?" His face fell and he looked down at himself. "Do I look that bad?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. It wasn't until he had shut the door behind him that I fell into a fit of laughter.

"What's so funny?" My foster father asked as he made his way down the hall.

I looked at him, he was looking no less professional than he always did. I was happy he had the day off.

I thought about for it a moment.

"Nothing" I shook my head, amused.

He let out a small laugh anyway. "Well you seem to be a good mood today."

Instantly I frowned upon remembering why I wasn't expected to be a good mood - Rosalie Hale.

I hadn't seen the girl since she mysteriously vanished from my house one morning over a month ago. I hadn't exactly been sad when she'd left, as Rosalie was… insane.

"You know what Jacob says about Thanksgiving?" I asked him.

Perhaps if Carlisle knew the horrifying origins of it, he would decide to boycott the holiday, and I wouldn't have to spend any unnecessary time with my extended family.

"I can imagine" Carlisle deadpanned with an amused smirk.

He ruffled my hair with his strong hands and I scowled.

"Thanksgiving is about family" He said, seeming happy at the thought.

I didn't actually know much about Carlisle's side of the family, but there were so many feet I could step on by asking. It did incite my curiosity, however.

The bathroom door opened at just that moment, revealing Emmett who had thankfully fixed his hair.

"And food!!" My foster brother grinned.

The three of us laughed at that.

Emmett mainly thought with his stomach, if he thought at all.

I smiled, he'd kill me if heard me say that - or act like it, at least. Despite his intimidating size, I'd learned that Emmett was actually somewhat of a pushover.

"Maybe you should borrow one of my shirts" Carlisle eyed his eldest son critically.

Emmett looked embarrassed, but had gone off with him anyway.

In school we had made a list of things we were grateful for, the top of mine had been: I'm thankful my family likes me and my foster brother Emmett because sometimes I cause trouble and Emmett can be really annoying sometimes (yesterday he wouldn't stop singing the Pina Colada song).

Esme had hung it on the refrigerator with a smile as wide as the ocean.

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I guess Carlisle had been right when he'd accused me of being in a good mood, but about half-way through the car ride to Esme's mother house I felt it start to fade. It became replaced with worry.

"Are you getting car sick?" Emmett asked quite loudly, leaning into his window.

I turned to him unhappily. "No"

"Well if you do" He looked at me suspiciously and then pointed towards my window.

I nodded.

"Everything alright back there?" asked Esme.

"Fine"

"Are you excited to see Rosalie and Jasper again?" She asked, delighted.

_Rosalie_ I thought throwing my head back into the seat. I sighed.

"Yeah, yeah" Emmett had intercepted the question. "But what are we going to be _eating_?"

"Don't you worry about food" Carlisle assured him.

The trip continued, everyone getting along just fine and in good spirits, but I wondered if we would go home the same way.

Because it was the Hales; something terrible was going to happen today, wasn't it? Something _always_ happened when Rosalie was involved. It was inevitable.

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"Hello!!" My grandmother greeted wrapping her arms around me as the four members of my family stood in her doorway.

I liked my grandma alright. She didn't smell as nice as Esme, though, and her skin was rougher than my foster mother's.

When I had fist met her over the summer, I had been quiet as a mouse but she had managed to make enough conversation for the two of us. She was a very verbal woman.

"How've you been, Edward?" She grinned, causing more of her wrinkles to show.

"Fine" I smiled at her.

"And who might this be?" She looked at Emmett and then towards Esme and Carlisle.

I wondered if she was being playful or had truly forgotten his name.

"This is Emmett" My foster mother introduced, looking a bit embarrassed.

"What have you been feeding him?" Grandma Platt asked skeptically. "And why doesn't it work on the other one?"

We all laughed, even if some of it was nervous laughter. I hadn't really been insulted, I had no desire to be as big as my giant of a foster brother.

"Who you really should be giving it to is that beanpole Jasper, isn't that right James?" She called playfully into the other room.

My stomach suddenly hurt, James - my uncle. I hadn't really met him before, not formally and I hadn't expected him to be here. I didn't really know what his issue was, or his wife's, or god's know what went on in their home, and I knew it wasn't any of my business either, but the thought of it always left me feeling sick.

"Yeah, I hear you ma!" He called back.

His voice was deep and slightly raspy in an eerie way.

We were led into the other room, which looked just as tidy as you'd expect a little old lady's home to look. Tiny little picture frames, frilly cloths; the typical grandmother.

I looked over towards Emmett who seemed as happy as he usually did, unless of course it was one of those Sunday morning's Esme would take him off to god knows where. Then, he was known to actually be quiet for a few minutes.

The Hales were already sitting at the table, all of them dressed in their Sunday best. They seemed so much… nicer than they had before. I wouldn't have called my cousins trashy or anything, but they did live in a very tiny house way out in the sticks and they definitely weren't as wealthy as my own foster parents.

I noticed Rosalie looked as innocuous as ever - today especially done up in a long, dark blue dress. She was absent-mindedly staring at her empty plate before we entered.

Her lighter blue eyes quickly jumped over to Emmett and I followed her gaze over to where my foster brother stood, smiling at her. It seemed odd.

"Anna, James" Carlisle greeted shaking their hands as they stood. "It's been a while"

The two of them nodded and smiled back.

"Too long" She said. "It's great to see you again"

She gave a look to her husband, who shot her a look right back. It was a brief, subtle moment, and I wasn't exactly sure what to make of it.

"These must be Edward and Emmett" He smiled down at us. "Nice to meet you."

It wouldn't take a genius to tell the smile had been forced, but standing under Carlisle's shadow I said the obligatory;

"You too" and shook his rough, pale hand after Emmet had.

Grandma Platt seated us around the cramped table, obviously serving more today than it ever had in recent years. She sat us opposite the Hales; matching the wives across from the wives, the husbands from the husbands, Emmett across from Rosalie and me from Jasper.

Grandma Platt excused herself into the kitchen and Esme volunteered to help her. Esme was awfully nice in that regard, but then, of course, Esme was always nice.

The table was left in silence as we all sat around awkwardly.

I gave a glance towards James, almost feeling as if it were wrong to look at him. His hair, a similar color to Jasper's, was neatly pulled back into a short pony-tail. He had cleaned up a lot since I had last seen him. Still, there was a look in his eyes - something cold, something sad. It was worrying.

"-had to be carried everywhere" Emmett was explaining to the twins, laughing.

I had the feeling he was talking about me.

"What?" I questioned him.

Three pairs of eyes shot to me, their coinciding mouths grinning.

"I was just telling 'em about how you sprained your ankle" He grinned.

It was a terrible thought; how much pain I had been it. It had been all my stupid neighbor's fault. At least that had been the end of his antics for a bit. Not that he didn't still attempt to get me in trouble now, but at least there had been three weeks I had the excuse of an injury. Then again, he had wanted to do a few… 'tests' on my cast.

"Jacob…" I muttered beneath my breath, and then turned to Emmett. "You didn't have to carry me _everywhere_"

He laughed. "Sure, whatever. Hey, remember how Esme had Carlisle dismantle that bike? What was it called? 'Black Beauty'? Ha, that was the ugliest bike I've ever seen"

They laughed and then the conversation came to a halt.

Jasper was silent, that wasn't unusual, but Rosalie was as well and that _was _unusual. She sat there smiling at Emmett; laughing and nodding, but never saying a word.

She had told me before that she liked Emmett, but then she had kissed me (for a second time). I didn't understand it, but I had quit trying to awhile ago.

"So, you guys miss too much school?" Emmett had asked, as he was the one doing most of the talking.

Aunt Anna and Carlisle were having their own quiet conversation. I wouldn't listen in on it. Whether because I knew it was rude to or because I was afraid I'd be called out on it, my motives were unclear to me.

"Not much…" Jasper mumbled.

I was grateful when Esme and Grandma Platt returned, bringing out various foods in expensive-looking dishes.

"Oh boy look at that bird" Carlisle had grinned at his wife.

That seemed to please Esme, who allowed Carlisle to start carving it. I was impressed with his precision, but then again he was a doctor.

There was a quiet cheer when Carlisle finished. We began the meal by saying grace, which was something I never really did so I had felt uncomfortable. It wasn't too bad though, as everyone was more focused on the food anyway.

"This is really good, grandma" Rosalie beamed as she bit into her mashed potatoes.

I would have thought she was a polite young woman if I didn't know her any better. It looked as though this was how she acted when she was around her family.

"Aw thanks Rosie" She smiled from her seat at the head of the table. "Eat all you want there's plenty of it."

Rosalie smiled and nodded.

"That goes for you too, Edward, Jasper" She laughed. "I can't have my grandson's wasting away!"

She, apparently, wasn't kidding when she said that because she had stuffed us with three servings each.

I felt like I might explode.

"Whose up for a little football?" Carlisle asked as we got up from the table.

Emmett seemed eager, and I had wondered what exactly he had done with the four plates he had eaten.

"I think I'll help clean up…" I said, much to Carlisle's disappointment.

I did enjoy playing sports with Carlisle. Even if I wasn't very good at them, he always made them fun. Today, however, for the sake of my stomach I thought I'd sit out. Not to mention I wasn't all that excited if my snake-eyed uncle was going to play.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle frowned at me.

I felt a stab of guilt hit me.

"I'm just going to let my stomach settle first" I nodded in thought. "that would probably be for the best"

Carlisle nodded at me. "Your grandma stuff you too much?"

Carlisle laughed and I smiled.

"Well come join us if you feel better" He told me and then grabbed his jacket.

"I'll totally kick your butt when you do!" Emmett cried excitedly as the four men shut the door behind them.

Suddenly being the only boy in the house, I kind of wished I hadn't argued.

_Oh well_ I thought as I made my way in the kitchen.

"You didn't want to play football?" Esme questioned as I joined her at the sink.

I didn't know where Grandma Platt had gone, or Rosalie and Aunt Anna for that matter, but they were probably doing something together as Rosalie seemed to have a certain attachment to her grandmother. At least she was nice to somebody.

"No" I shook my head and took the plate Esme had handed to me. "I'm too full"

Esme gave a small laugh, as I circled the fine china with a dishrag.

"Grandma wouldn't quit stuffing me"

"Yes" Esme smiled. "Well you see your grandmother grew up during the great depression, and there hadn't always been enough to eat. So she doesn't like to see anyone go hungry"

I frowned. I felt for my grandma, that was so sad. Why did bad luck always seem to plague the nicest of people?

"Oh" I said quietly and tried to switch to a different topic. "Was this the house you grew up in?"

Esme shook her head, taking the dish I had and putting it to the side.

"No, I actually grew up in Ohio"

"Ohio?" I echoed.

Ohio was so far away, how had they winded up here?

"We lived there until I was seventeen, then we moved here for my dad's job…" She trailed off.

I wondered what had happened to her dad, he didn't seem to be in the picture anymore.

"Did I ever tell you how I met Carlisle?" She suddenly asked, lost in her thought.

I shook my head, curious. I only knew that they had been married for seven years.

She smiled, staring down at the new plate she was washing and began her story;

"I had been eighteen years old and quite the foolhardy girl" She began.

I stared at her, I couldn't believe there had ever been a time when Esme was 'foolhardy'.

"Oh I was" She assured me, laughing at the face I made before continuing. "Carlisle had been 21 at the time and pre-med. I had seen him volunteering at the hospital and had fallen in love with him since the moment I laid eyes on him. He had such a gentle and caring soul about him, always going out of his way to help people…"

Esme trailed off with a happy gleam in her eyes.

"Well I was only eighteen and still in high school, I hadn't the nerve to just talk to him!" She laughed at the memory. "So I thought perhaps if I got sick, I would be able to see him"

I found myself smiling along with her.

"I stayed out all night in the middle of a rainstorm in nothing but sundress!" She seemed quite amused with herself. "only I didn't so much as catch a cold"

I nodded at her, curious as to what she had tried next. I didn't especially like the thought of my foster mother purposely making herself sick, but she seemed to be in perfectly good health these days.

"Why didn't you just fake sick?" I inquired, thinking it to be the easiest solution.

"I was sure with Carlisle's genius he would have seen right through it. Although I didn't know at the time he wasn't the excellent doctor he is today, it wouldn't be till later I found out he was as nervous and unsure of himself as I was. Yes, well, anyway after my attempt to catch a cold failed - I came up with another Idea. I climbed to the middle of the tallest tree I could find-"

"You didn't" My eyes were wide towards the woman. There was no one my sweet and gentle foster mother would have done something so, to put it simply, crazy.

She smiled, amused and embarrassed, squeezing her eyes closed. "Oh but I did. I jumped off and broke my leg in two places"

I winced. "You broke your leg just to talk to him?"

She nodded. "Oh sweet irony, the worst part was he wasn't even working that day."

I nearly lost it. I was somewhere between shock and hysterical laughter.

"I had been so determined, though. I had the hospital call him up, and I refused to be treated by anybody else. And then, watching the thoughtful look in his eye as he worked on my leg, I fell in love with him. We caught each other's eyes for a brief moment and we knew we were in love with each other. I felt like the luckiest girl on the planet." She smiled. "That was how we met."

That was some story. I hadn't realized how different my foster parents had been when they were younger, it was unbelievable.

"Five years later, we met in the hospital again, we started dating and three months later he proposed to me."

"What did you do for five years?" I furrowed my brow trying to contemplate it.

Esme suddenly stopped wiping the plate in her hands and stared at the sink with a thoughtful look for a few moments.

"We had been young" Esme explained, seeming a bit sad. "and so we had gone our separate ways"

I frowned as Esme's joy had seemed to have vanished.

"But it was fate" Esme told me. "and we found each other once again"

I smiled. It was the perfect happy ending, wasn't it? I was thankful they had found each other, they seemed like the world's most loving couple.

I nodded at her, agreeing it was their fate to be together.

"So you think everything happens for a reason?" I asked her.

She thought it over for a moment and then said with the utmost confidence; "I do. Yes, even when things seem bad I am sure they happen for a reason.

I excused my self from the kitchen and was making my way outside to join the rest of the guys in my family, thinking to myself; _everything happens for a reason. _

Despite how flawlessly the day had gone, I just wasn't able to comprehend at the time how much I would doubt that sentence over the next month. Life was about to come at me full throttle, and optimistically grateful Rosalie hadn't bothered me, and not giving any thought to the secrets my family kept so well, I was ready in the least.

**A/N: You ever have a dream like that? Where like the P.O.V keeps changing from like your eyes to you seeing yourself? No? Maybe I'm just weird then…**

**Anyway, I think my Word Count must be broken, because this seems like an insanely short chapter… **

**Well please let me know what you think about it - is it too boring? (this chapter definitely was, huh?) Confusing? Weird? **

**I appreciate your thoughts : ) **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. ^^ **

**XOXO,**

**W.C.E **


	10. Chapter 10

How was death so many years ago? The thought struck me one afternoon in late December. The house had been quiet, I was home alone with time to stare at my ceiling and think.

When I was very little, I didn't understand death at all. My father died before I was even born, all he ever was to me was some pictures along the walls. I had been so terribly curious, though, just where he actually existed. Mom never liked to talk about it, and so I kind of thought he lived in those pictures. I would even talk to them sometimes.

Then mom was dying. She was dying, and I didn't understand. She was leaving? Where was she going to go? Why couldn't she stay with me?

I still didn't understand it; why things had to die. I wondered if Emmett's parents were dead…

Jacob's dog died in September, and he had cried for ages. That had scared me because I didn't cry when my mother died. When she told me she was dying; leaving, I cried. I cried so many times with her, and yet, when she died I didn't shed a tear. It made me feel like a monster.

It seemed to me that was the way things often worked out; the good were punished while the bad thrived. There was no sense of justice.

Rosalie and Jasper's dad is an artist, sometimes he'll spend days on end inside their messy garage painting. I'm told they're mostly paintings of naked women and murders. I'm also told he's a very good artist, but then again Monet painted flowers.

Sometime last spring, Rosalie and Jasper came to live with us again. They stayed for weeks that time, and I had found out some more about them. Mostly, Rosalie would come into my room late at night and wake me up to tell me something. I didn't mind it all that much.

But they'd be coming back, possibly for good this time. Emmett had gotten the call, from who I'm not sure, but the moment he picked up the phone his face fell.

It was terrifying, I watched his lips move my brain trying to catch up to the word's he was saying. 'There was an accident…'

I couldn't feel anything after that. I grabbed at the doorframe to my side, but I missed, nearly falling.

Esme had been quick to react, trying to sort out her many jumbled questions as she thought aloud. Emmet had handed her the phone at the same instant it had been ripped out his hand. My foster brother was left with his mouth slightly parted, and his dark eyes seeming lost.

He wouldn't tell me what happened, nobody would until Carlisle came home. Then I had merely eavesdropped while Esme laid a heap of information on the man, despite the fact I was in the same room, sitting at the same table as them.

James, Rosalie and Jasper had been in a car accident. Rosalie seemed like she'd be fine, but the other two they weren't sure about.

Carlisle told me to stay home, although Emmett had been allowed to go with them. Apparently eleven is a far cry from fourteen.

I let out a soft sigh, turning to face the window. They had been gone for hours.

So much had happened in the past year, I didn't think I could handle this. Of course, I was sure my cousins didn't know how to handle this either.

We were only kids, I thought leaning my head into the pillow. I squeezed my eyes, and they burned.

I couldn't even call Bella, me and her were fighting. I never fought with Bella, never seriously and yet I had completely ruined it when I'd opened my mouth.

It was all because of that stupid Mike Newton! I gripped the pillow tighter, I could feel the fabric stressed between my fingers.

I should have been a better friend and noticed when Mike started to form a crush on her, even if our three year strike of being in the same class had ended. I should have noticed, but no - I let Bella fall right into his clutches.

Sure I wanted Bella to be happy, but I also wanted her to be safe. Mike might seem potentially harmless to the untrained eye; he wasn't very smart and he never got into too much trouble, but the kid was a pervert. He owned all kinds of sick magazines and found websites at school that, at the very least, should have been blocked, if not removed from existence altogether.

So I had ruined it all because I had to go and tell Bella to stay away from that guy. She got mad at me, now she wouldn't speak to me, wouldn't answer my call or even look my way in the hallway at school.

And now this, my uncle and cousin were in the hospital, maybe they were even dying.

What are you suppose to do in that situation? I began to sob into the pillow.

I had no idea, I was helpless. I was small and young and ignorant, I couldn't do this. What would I do if they died? If I lost them and Bella and, how, _how_ could my family move on from that? Would we all die? I didn't want to go, I was afraid, I just couldn't handle it.

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A shrill ringing echoed throughout the house as I slowly fell out of my dream-like state and blinked. The phone was ringing.

"Hello?" I asked quietly, once I made my way downstairs to the phone.

I hadn't wanted to ruin the stillness of the house. It was like the calm before the storm.

"Edward?" It was Carlisle's voice.

My eyes were sore and my hair was falling into my face.

"Yes" I answered.

I sounded calm, but I was eagerly awaiting his news.

"Rosalie is absolutely fine…" He started off with.

I hadn't realized how much of a relief it would be to hear that, I silently thank-god.

"What about…?" I let my voice trailed off.

"Jasper's pretty cut up…" Carlisle's voice was heavy. "He went through the windshield"

Someone was pulling at my insides.

"What?" I spat out.

He went through the windshield? He… _went through the windshield?_ Had I heard him right.

"He… he" I tried to understand. "Well is he alright?"

That was the core of what I wanted to know, wasn't it? Though billions of thoughts ran through my mind, and it was hard to pick just one.

"They think he's going to be alright" His voice was quiet.

I bit my lip. "What about… Uncle James?"

There was silence after I asked that and it felt like a blow to the gut. He wasn't alright. No, if Carlisle wasn't answering me, he couldn't be.

So, Uncle James was hurt or worse he was…

"He… he's not doing so well, Edward."

It felt surreal, I looked around the room as if it wasn't really there. He was dying, I knew it. My uncle was going to die. I couldn't do anything about it.

"Edward I-"

"Is he going to die?" I cut him off.

If I knew; if my worries were confirmed, it might help. It might, at least, help my heart stop beating so loud.

"Edward…" Carlisle began.

He was talking in the way most adults talk down to children. Carlisle was usually the sort of person who didn't talk that way, and I respected him for that.

"He's dying" I didn't realize how cold my voice was, because I expected it to come out weak and strained.

My voice was just; empty.

"I don't know" Carlisle's voice as he said that gave me shivers.

He sounded so lost, as if he himself couldn't understand it.

"Listen" He told me, and I was thankful he was giving me direction. "Esme wants to stay here tonight, Emmett and I will be coming home soon- did you eat anything?"

"I'm not hungry" I explained.

In truth, I felt like I'd never eat again.

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We drove to the hospital in silence, although if the tension our thoughts caused were words it would have sounded like a wild party.

It was pretty early in the morning, the sky just beginning to change colors. The sun always came in the morning, that was one of the few constants in my life.

"Hey" Esme greeted me with a tight embrace as we walked into the waiting area.

She acted as if she hadn't seen me years. I tightly hugged her back, I didn't want her to leave.

"Would you like to see Jasper?" Esme looked down at me, placing one hand on my shoulder.

In all honesty, I didn't. I didn't want to go within ten feet of a hospital room - ever. I didn't want to see just how sickly he looked, I didn't want to hear the buzz of various monitors or watch the drip of an I.V.

It was with the weight of three pairs of eyes on me that I nodded.

"Alright" Esme nodded back at me. "But, sweetheart, Jasper might not look very well. It's very important that you don't say anything that might… upset him, alright?"

I felt a little insulted that she would think me capable of acting in such a way, but I nodded anyway.

Esme then took my hand, which I hesitantly let her. I felt I was acting much younger than my age, but the thought didn't stop me.

She lead me down the hall, away from Emmett and Carlisle who I turned to see weren't following us.

We rode an elevator a few floors up. I used to always love riding the elevators.

Esme looked down at me and gave me a nervous smile when we reached our floor.

When we got to the room at the end of the hall, Esme tightly gripped the metal handle and pushed the giant door open.

I gasped. Two things hit me at once. One; that this room was almost the same as I remembered my mother's being, and two; something inhuman lay where a patient should have been.

Esme placed her hand on my shoulder and I came back to.

A blonde haired boy was laying there. More predominant than the monitors or I.V were the cuts all over him. They were _everywhere_.

A bandage was wrapped around his forehead, his face was swollen and all over his arms were long, thin slashes.

It hurt to look at.

Esme urged me deeper into the room. I shot her a look behind me. It felt as if she were feeding me to the wolves.

"Hi…" I said slowly, keeping a bit of distance from the bed.

"Don't do that" The voice wasn't Jasper's.

I quickly turned my head to see who told me that. A blonde little girl in braids, sitting backwards on a chair with a red face. Surly that wasn't my cousin.

No, neither of these people in this room were recognizable as my cousins.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Do _that_." She made a face. "It's not like he's contagious."

"Edward doesn't mean anything" Esme told her while giving me a look.

"Well he won't talk to you anyway" Rosalie commented to me.

I looked over to him, he was conscious but a look in his eyes told me he wasn't all there.

"He's drugged out his mind." Rosalie sighed, resting her chin on the back of the chair.

"Oh… well that's alright" I answered awkwardly and then turned to who I meant to address. "… Jasper."

Of course he didn't reply to that.

"Can me and Edward go get a drink?" Rosalie looked over towards Esme who nodded and handed her a couple of dollars.

Rosalie didn't even thank her, she just pulled at my arm and led me out of the room. I couldn't say I wasn't relieved to be out of there.

"Is he going to be alright?" I asked in hopes she would answer honestly.

"They say so…" She nodded as she pulled me further.

It was when we passed the soda machines that the fear set in.

"Where are we going?" She turned to look at me as I stopped in the middle of the hall.

"Don't you hate hospitals?" She asked walking a bit further to push for the elevator.

Hating hospitals was an understatement. Their sole existence was torture, they made me feel just as sick as those who occupied them. Nurses and doctors and cleaners walked about us, each one that passed made me wonder if they had or were about to be present during a death. The overbearing smell and bright lights were starting to hurt my head.

I knew what agreeing with Rosalie meant, but somehow I felt the need to listen to her. I… I _did_ have to get of here.

"Esme…" I began, feebly.

Of the many events that took place over the past year, the best had been my adoption. It had been a fairly simple process, easy because my parents were deceased. They had taken me down to the court house on January twentieth and from that day forward I was one of them.

No longer did I worry about being sent back to the Home or having visits with Tanya. No, these days I was Edward Mason Cullen, I felt a bit more freedom with that name.

Still, though, I wouldn't want to misbehave and upset Esme.

"We'll be back…" She said as the doors slid open.

She yanked me inside and pushed for the Lobby.

There was an awkward silence inside the elevator, just the gentle hum of the machine itself to pass the time.

We occasionally glanced over to each other, sharing some odd sort of feeling.

She led me out of the elevator, down the hall and straight out the door.

I took a moment to take in the scenery. The entire town seemed cold and gray, there was a gas station across the street and not much else other than road.

She began to lead me down the street, and I felt nervous.

"Where are we going?" I asked her.

We walked along the long, stretched road in the chill air and she said nothing for the longest time.

"We could take a cab to the city… to the airport, take a plane out of here…" Her voice sounded to strange, like she were sleepy.

"Rosalie…" Well that was the dumbest idea I'd ever heard. I didn't want to burst her bubble, but we were broke, minors, and sure to be in enough trouble already, anyway.

"If you could go anywhere, where would you go?" She asked.

I repeated the question in my mind. I'd liked to have said Chicago, but I could hardly remember the place.

"Phoenix" The answer rolled off my tongue.

That sounded good, I commended myself.

"Phoenix?" The sleepiness had left Rosalie's voice and been replaced with confusion.

"Yeah" I nodded, somewhat happy at her response.

"What's there?"

"Baseball?" I shrugged.

I wasn't really sure, Bella's mother had remarried a few months ago to a baseball player.

"We have baseball here" She frowned as if I had said something really idiotic.

I shrugged. "It's nicer there…"

"I'd want to go to New York" The sleepiness was back.

"Why?"

"The city, the glamour…" She trailed off. "I'd love to see Time's Square"

I nodded, disappointed her answer made more sense than mine.

"You wouldn't miss Washington?" I smirked at her.

She sighed staring at the road before her. "I don't know"

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Halfway down the road we had turned around to go back. We had turned over some cartons behind the gas station and were throwing rocks along the ground.

We had been doing so quietly and introspectively until I heard a slight choke.

"Rosalie?" I turned to see a stream of tears falling down her face.

My eyes widened. I'd never seen her cry before, no matter what.

"Rosalie?" I asked again.

"Oh shut up, Edward!" She cried, smashing her rock to the ground.

"What- what?" I panicked.

Where was this coming from? We had just been sitting there and then…

"What?" She laughed between her tears and angrily spat again; "What?"

I stared at her waiting.

"My father is _dying_, Edward" She stared at me.

Her intense glare almost made me feel responsible.

"And my mother has been missing for months." She scrunched up her face and looked away.

I scooted closer next to her.

"and… and…"

I placed an arm around her.

Suddenly I was pushed into the hard pavement.

"And just what the hell are you doing?!" She cried.

My eyes widened.

"What? I was just…"

"No!" She screamed at me.

She didn't even know what I was going to say.

"You disgusting pig!" She struck a finger accusingly at me. "You!… God, Edward!"

"Calm down" I commanded.

"Calm down…" She almost laughed. "Calm down? Or what will you do? Huh, what will you do to me?"

I gave a look of disgust towards her, parting my lips and frowning.

"Really, I'm interested"

"Rosalie…" My voice trailed off into silence.

"You guys are so lucky" I heard a deep voice call from behind, stumbling in at the perfect quiet moment.

I turned around - Emmett. Rosalie quickly looked away from him and began to rub her eyes.

"I knew I'd find you little punks somewhere around here." He grinned.

Leave it to Emmett to be smiling at a time like this. That was how he was, though, he'd always be the one to stay in good spirits and try to cheer you up.

"Is Esme mad?" I almost winced at the thought.

He shook his head.

"I told her you were in the bathroom." He chuckled. "You're not 'feeling so good'"

I frowned at him. He was also the type to do something like _that_.

I looked back over towards Rosalie and Emmett did as well.

I opened my mouth for a split second, thinking I might say something. Probably it would be best to leave this one to Emmett. I had no idea the relationship the two of them shared, as I really didn't want to, but they did seem to make each other happy.

"I'm going to go…" I mumbled to Emmett.

He nodded at me and started over to the sniffling girl.

I sighed making my way across the street. How _were_ we going to get through this? I wasn't sure it could be done.

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"Five-four-six-four" I mouthed the numbers along the wall until I reached the room I had left.

I made my way in, slowly, as Esme had done before.

"Edward" The voice was one I didn't recognize.

Before me stood a small girl, the size of perhaps a third grader, holding out her thin, little hand towards me. She had long dark hair that popped out against her pale complexion. Was she a friend of Jasper's?

I nodded, questioningly, but took her hand nonetheless. She had a strong grip for someone of her size.

"And you are?"

She beamed at me. "I'm Alice."

"Nice to meet you…" I mumbled. "You're a friend of Jasper's?"

We were both watching him sleep, and I saw her shake her head out of the corner of my eye. I had to do a double take.

Was she his girlfriend then? Wasn't she a bit too young?

"Not yet" She explained. "But we'll be the best of friends"

I gave her a glance. They will be? I was so confused.

"He's going to hate those scars" She frowned.

I nodded, saddened by the thought. He would hate those scars, but at least he would be alright. I was still eager to find out who she was, however.

"Do you go to Jasper's school?" I asked.

No, that couldn't be it. She must go to the elementary school.

She shook her head again.

"I don't go to school." She informed me.

Everything she said was a fact, it was beginning to get a little weird.

"You're home schooled?" I prodded.

She shook her head no, and said nothing more.

"Where did Esme go?" I asked and then realized she might not know who I meant. "Esme is-"

"Esme" She cut me off. She seemed to enjoy pronouncing her name. "She's your mother."

"… My adoptive mother" I told her.

I suppose she was my mother for all intents and purposes, but I had already had a 'mother' and that title belonged to her.

"Yes." Alice didn't agree, but spoke as if she already knew what I was going to say. "You love her very much."

I nodded. She seemed to be the most perceptive person I'd ever met.

"She went downstairs to look for you." She told me.

She had taken Jasper's hand in hers and was rubbing it gently. So she _was_ his girlfriend?

"How old are you?" I felt compelled to ask.

I should have probably been going to find Esme and Carlisle, but I was terribly curious to know. There was something very mysterious about Alice, I almost liked that.

"They say eleven."

I found it odd the way she phrased that.

"They say?"

"Ten, eleven, twelve." She listed the numbers impassively. "It doesn't make a difference."

"I'm eleven too" I told her, despite the fact she hadn't really answered my last question.

"Yes." She said.

"When's your birthday?" If she was older than me I'd never live it down.

"I'm not sure." She answered.

I furrowed my brow at her, was she messing with me?

"Tell me yours." She said.

"June second." I had to see where she was going with this.

"Then mine will be June first" She smiled.

I stared at her. "Your birthday isn't conditional, you can't just make it up."

I think that hit a sore spot of hers because she set Jasper's arm down and looked a bit saddened.

"So are you and Jasper-?"

She shook her head before I could finish. "You should go find Esme."

I nodded. "But how _do _you-"

Again I was cut off. "I'm going to go now. Please don't tell them I was in here."

She hopped on her tiptoes and exited in a pixie-like fashion.

"Wait" I called out to her, but she left anyway.

I stood there, my brow creased in a state of confusion, feeling like I'd just been hit by a train. _Alice_ I thought. _How strange. _

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When I had met the rest of my family downstairs, Esme had informed Carlisle that it might be best to take me and Emmett home.

I had wanted to ask to see James, but I supposed it wasn't the right time to ask that.

"Is Uncle James alright?" I had asked instead.

"He's… hanging in there." Esme had said, obviously censoring her thoughts as she held an arm around Rosalie. "But he's in no condition for visitors."

I nodded in understanding.

"About Alice." I began, but was shot a few odd looks.

Alice had told me not to tell she had been in Jasper's room, but that did nothing but raise my suspicion.

"Alice?" Carlisle curiously tilted his head to the side.

"I just met her." I told him. "Esme knows her."

"I do?" Esme questioned.

Of course she did, at least Alice seemed to know _her_.

"That little girl with the dark hair?"

Everyone only stared at me more. What was going on?

"She was…" I wasn't suppose to tell them she had been there. "You know, the really small girl?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Is she a friend of yours, Edward?"

I raised an eyebrow at Esme and shook my head. "I'm not really sure who she is…"

Other than a very strange and mysterious person.

"You don't know, Rosalie?" I asked her.

She shook her head, staring at me as strangely as the rest of them.

"Never mind." I quickly shook my head.

I wasn't sure why I suddenly felt obligated to that odd, little girl.

"I'm really tired." I said attempting to change the topic.

Esme and Carlisle gave a look between each other.

"Alright." Carlisle nodded. "Are you coming home with us, Rosalie?"

"You should probably take her." Esme answered for her and Carlisle agreed.

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The uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty never left; not when we absent-mindedly watched television, as we inattentively played the X-Box Emmett had gotten for Christmas, or when Esme returned for dinner that evening.

Esme had picked up some food on the way home, and we quietly poked it around our plates.

"Was the game any good?" Carlisle sadly attempted at small talk.

"Packers won" Emmett shrugged.

Carlisle nodded, thinking.

"Edward" He turned to me. Great, it was my turn. "Have you shown Rosalie your Christmas gift?"

I shook my head. A few days prior I had received a Keyboard, it was nothing close to the Piano I use to play, but the gift had been very appreciated.

"Why don't you then?" He smiled at me.

I could read between the lines; 'why don't you' meant 'do it, now'. I guess he wanted us to stop acting so depressed. Was that really possible given the circumstances?

I sighed and turned to my cousin. "Want to see my new Keyboard?"

"No." She answered, staring at me like I was crazy.

Esme and Carlisle gave a small laugh like it was cute.

"He's not _that_ bad." Emmett admitted.

Eventually Rosalie was persuaded from the table and led into the living room. Emmett came as well.

I took a seat behind the ivory keys, and Emmett and Rosalie awkwardly loomed over me.

"What do you want to hear?" I asked.

Neither of them would have a preference, I was sure. I didn't exactly know the untalented hacks the two of them listened to.

"What's this?" Rosalie's voice suddenly sounded interested.

"What?"

Her hand reached over me to grab a piece of sheet music. Realization suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks, had I so carelessly left _that_ there?

"Bella" Rosalie spat the word through her teeth.

I attempted to grab it back, but she smacked my hand away.

"That's his girlfriend" Emmett told her.

"I know, I've met her before."

"She's not my girlfriend!" I attempted to grab back the papers.

Actually she was _Mike Newton's_ girlfriend now, so it wouldn't be true even if I wanted it to be. Which I wasn't saying I did. It would be nice if she'd talk to me again, though.

I sighed. Wonderful, I was thinking about Bella again.

"But you're writing songs for her." Rosalie smiled.

That snake.

"It was just because I was going to teach her a song…" I looked over towards Emmett to help me out.

He only shrugged.

"But listen to this; 'you are an angel from heaven'…" She scanned the rest of the page. "Seriously, how lame can you get?"

I scowled at her. "Shut up."

I grabbed my paper back, successfully this time, and ran up to my room.

I spent the rest of the evening pouting in the darkness of my room. I hated Rosalie for embarrassing me, but at the moment I felt really bad for her. It hurt to even think about, and when the image of Jasper's body came to thought…

I shuddered. Why did I have to be reminded of Bella, anyway? Supposedly because many things reminded of her. The colors of the season, sweet smells, sunshine… I was lame as Rosalie said I was, wasn't I? But it was the truth, she was constantly on my mind.

Even when I was trying to think of my family, my poor family, I thought of her. I wanted to talk to her, and know that everything was alright. Nothing _was_ going to be alright, was it? No, I couldn't see how this could ever pass as 'alright'.

When I had my visits with Tanya, which Emmett still does, she'd always ask really cryptic questions;

'Has anyone ever touched you?' she would ask with a tone that implied she meant something else.

I had stared at her, thinking of course they 'touch me'. My confusion had prompted her to add 'inappropriately'.

Of course they didn't, I had told her. Esme and Carlisle never did any of the things other foster kids talked about, they were nice and caring and… pretty much the world's perfect parents. They never hit me, they fed me, clothed me, they went above and beyond, but still, the family wasn't free of problems.

The problems that plagued us were by no means Carlisle and Esme's fault, they only ever did their best as parents. That was hurt about it, the fact that they tried their hardest, but were still as helpless as I was when it came to situations like these.

Bad things just happened, and nobody could stop that. I didn't like my Uncle very much, but I didn't want him to _die. _No, death was _never_ a good thing.

It was so confusing, all I could do was lay there and let life come at me full force.

I was such a weak, pathetic being.

I fell asleep thinking such thoughts, never bothering to change out of my clothes.

I had expected the disturbance that came at a little past two o'clock in the morning, but I hadn't expected her to come like this.

"Edward." She giggled hopping onto my bed.

She stank like high heaven and I pushed her off of me. She laughed loudly, too loudly for anyone awake at this hour with logical thought.

"Did I scare you?" She laughed. "I think I scared himmm…"

Who was she talking to? I looked around.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked the mess of a woman who was lying on my floor.

"I'll tell you this much." She stifled a burp. "I'm _not_ drunk"

My mouth fell, staring at her incredulously. She was drinking? In Carlisle and Esme's house? Did they even have any alcohol? They only ever had a glass of wine on special occasions.

"Someone wrote meee a lo-uh-ve song, Edward." She sang.

"Rosalie!" I scolded in a harsh whisper.

"No" She gasped, pulling at my sheets. "_Am _I drunk? Oh no…"

"Stop it" I ordered.

"Oh no, oh nooo" She sang.

"Stop it!" I cried, trying to shut her up before my parents found her.

"His name 'uz Mr. King." She smiled. "Royce… loves'es to drink."

"Who?" I asked utterly confused. "What? Rosalie…"

"You love Bella like real, like a real woman?" She grinned, stumbling a bit as she stood up.

"You shouldn't be drinking." I frowned, ignoring her question. "You're only twelve, that's illegal."

"You can soo, so be…" She made an overdramatic face at me and sighed loudly. "I'm ga'na go back to Emmett'ss."

"No wait-"

She was leaving again. She stumbled out of the room and I heard the familiar sound of his door opening.

Sitting there in the dark, thinking over the day's events, the year's events even and now this, all I could think was 'What the hell?'.

What the hell… What the hell was I going to do?

**A/N: Please don't get any bad thoughts about a drunken Rosalie entering Emmett's room ' **

**She's only twelve in this story at the moment. **

**Oh yeah, speaking of ages, I know Edward's birthday is suppose to be June 20****th**** , but I had to change that because I made him ten at the end of fourth grade before that date so… otherwise he would have been held back a grade or something which wouldn't make any sense. **

**Also what the heck does it mean to 'stink like high heaven'? Ha ha, I might be retarded. **

**Hmm… think that's it. **

**Mike Newton's a perv. *thumbs up* : )**

**- W.C.E **


	11. Chapter 11

The news suspended us in a surreal purgatory - every day for the past week we were informed that he was no better and no worse. Comatose, they said. No one had any idea whether or not he would come out of it.

It might actually be easier if he just died already, at least it'd be over and done with. That was horrible, I shouldn't think things like that.

"Edward!" Esme's voice echoed through the hall as I gave a poor attempt at juggling the dishes from last night's dinner.

I heard the door click open. A cool breeze rushed into the heated room, giving me a chill.

"Are you coming with us?"

I could tell she was already half-way out the door.

I stared at the filthy dishes I had lazily thrown into the sink. Brown streaks of dinner-aftermath began to fade into crimson colored razor strikes. It was sickening.

"No" I mutely shook my head, pointlessly.

Footsteps grew louder towards the kitchen.

"Oh, just leave the mess." My adoptive mother pushed her mess of brown hair out from in front of her hollow eyes.

I stared at the woman for a moment, she was almost exhausting to look at.

I bit my lip before I answered; "I have homework, school's in a couple of days and…"

A deep glare from the overhead lights reflected against the pink of her eyes, she stared at me desperately.

"You should come, Emmett's going. Jasper will be happy to see you." She informed me.

I fell victim to the guilt once again. I heard the dish rag hit the counter with a _plop_.

I nodded at her, and she tried as best she could to smile.

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I sat in the backseat next to an eerily quiet Rosalie, and absent-mindedly traced pictures along the condensation that had filled the windows. It was a bitter, rainy day.

The previous days had been no better, and the thought was forming how terribly monotonous this whole hospital routine was getting. I might actually be thankful to return to school on Monday.

The four of us, Carlisle being absent as usual, made our way upstairs. My teeth were chattering, the hospital was as cold inside as it was outside.

Emmett and Esme carried on a light conversation about who would be performing during New Year's tonight. I was less than interested, but Rosalie seemed intrigued.

She was probably wishing she would be watching the ball drop in New York tonight than walking through ghosts on a hospital floor.

There was just no adjusting to hospitals, I thought as we entered the bright, sterile-smelling room.

His body still sent a shock through me as I caught sight of my cousin. I averted my eyes over towards the empty chair in the corner. That was rude, I thought. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.

Though staring at the empty chair, I imagined the hours spent without us visiting to be very lonely. Then again, we weren't his only visitors. Alice was quite the nimble little girl, but I sometimes caught her heading down the hall when she thought no-one was looking. I hadn't yet had a free moment to talk with Jasper alone about her, it was a very intriguing mystery.

"Hey." Jasper greeted weakly.

At least he was conscious these days.

We all said our hello's, Esme forging a wide smile with hers.

"We brought you some things." Rosalie informed her brother with a voice too sweet to match her, although I didn't doubt the sincerity of it.

Rosalie held out a small brown bag to him. It was a simple gesture, and Jasper's hand reached for it willingly, but his boney fingers fumbled trying to grasp the handle, and the bag fell to the floor.

The poor bag had a million stares above it, it lay motionless on the cold, white tile.

"Sorry" Jasper said quickly, and winced.

The entire scene left an unknown aura in the air around us, but we all looked towards the scary figure beneath the scratchy hospital sheets.

He was staring down at his right hand, watching the joints of his fingers move coarsely as his willed them to. He eyes held such confusion and contempt, I might have thought they were the car that nearly killed him.

I had to swallow a wave of pain.

"It's a book." Rosalie said as she swiftly lifted the fallen object. "About the Civil War."

"We thought you'd like that." Esme said trying to capture his gaze away from the barely responsive digits.

"'Cause, like, you like that stuff and all." Emmett so profoundly stated.

Jasper, however, only continued to frown in distaste at his hand. It was the most disgruntled I'd ever seen him.

"They said it'd get better…" His mumble would not have been heard had the room not been so palpably silent.

"It takes time, honey." Esme was quick to assure.

He made no indication that he'd even heard her.

I felt horribly awkward standing in the middle of the crowded room. I absolutely _hated_ just how white the rooms were, they made everything all the more nerve-racking.

I was aware, just then, that Rosalie was giving Esme a look. Silently asking permission, I supposed, as she often did. She wanted to go stare at the comatose man.

Esme nodded at her and Rosalie pulled Emmett by the sleeve out the door.

"See ya!" Emmett called as he was dragged.

And then there were three. Three proved to be no less awkward than five or even two.

I prayed to god that Esme wouldn't leave, as otherwise I'd have no idea what to say to the kid.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked.

I was fully aware that everyone knew it was just an excuse to leave the room, but maybe it would be best to leave the two of them alone, anyway. Esme was much better at consoling people than I was, which wasn't really saying much, but for the most part she was a very comforting person.

"Of course" Esme gave the green light, and I sped out of the room as quickly as possible.

I made my way down the hall, my eyes wide at incoming doctors and gurneys and patients.

I was about to enter the bathroom, when a blur of black darted past me; nearly knocking me over.

What was that? I stared down the long, colorless hallway. At the end of it was a little girl with short but strikingly dark hair and a dark colored dress to match.

She was so small and fair. Was that who I thought it was?

In a split second decision I closed the door I had been holding and began to follow the girl, keeping my distance slightly.

I watched as she turned on her heel away from the elevator and opted for the stairs.

She hit each one with a light and graceful beat, and I quietly feigned a casual walk behind her.

The small girl turned away at the bottom of the stairs and I realized I'd have no idea which way she went. That problem was taken care of, however, when a tiny fist quickly attached itself to my shirt as I transcended the last stair. It pulled me to the side.

I noticed the fair but angular features right away. It _had_ been who I thought it was.

"Alice?" I asked as if that name might sum up everything.

"Shh" She scolded me. "They're coming."

"Who?"

Her eyes lifted to their upper right corner, she looked as though she was listening for something.

After a moment, I was pulled away once again; dragged down another hall which fit the repetitive theme of plain and cleanly, with the exception of a few new year's decorations lazily hung up. A sign pointed arrows in directions of Children's Mental Health Ward and Rehab Center.

I wasn't all that surprised when she led me down the former.

She looked at me and smiled when we reached a room, she swiftly slid into it, and left me standing out in the hallway.

I stuffed my hands into my pockets as I cautiously looked around. It was the Mental Ward after all.

So Alice was crazy, then? She certainly came off that way. I really should have just ran at that moment, but my feet remained firmly planted on the ground. I felt an odd need to trust her.

She emerged just as quietly as she had entered, this time a jacket in hand.

I connected the dots all too quickly.

"No." I whispered to her, shaking my head.

I was keeping a careful eye on the staff that seemed pretty preoccupied carrying patients down the hall or looking over paperwork.

She ignored me and then proceeded to deftly lead me back the way we came.

Wouldn't the first floor be the quickest way out? She was trying to escape, wasn't she?

Oh god, I couldn't help her with that. I _really_ couldn't be a part of something like that, it would cause way too much trouble.

"Don't be scared, Edward." Alice blinked, looking at something I couldn't see as we came back to the hallway I had left. "It's not what you think, I'm just cold."

Asking someone not to be scared was a pretty easy thing to do when you weren't the one being lead away by a crazy, mysterious stranger.

"Here" She whispered as we reached a door at the very other end of the hall.

It was tiny and as she gripped the handle, it dawned on me it was too tiny to be a room.

"A closet?" I inquired.

She nodded at me.

"No" I shook my head. "I'm going to go back…"

"Get in the closet, Edward." She blinked at me.

Her eyes were wide, and she had such an innocent air about her, almost like a little sister.

"But I-"

The strong little girl pushed me in, and closed the door behind us.

"Who are you running away from?" I began in a harsh whisper. "Doctors? Why are you in the Mental Health Ward? Why do I always see you leaving Jasper's room?… What happened to your hair?"

"My full name is Alice Brandon." She said instead, optimistic as ever.

I grabbed the bridge of my nose to avoid an incoming headache.

"Are you crazy?" I asked as an expression at first, and then realized how literally it was meant.

She nodded. "They don't say I'm crazy, but everybody thinks so."

"How do you know?" This was a particularly good question because there seemed to be lots of things Alice somehow knew without reason.

"They think I'm crazy because I can't remember anything."

Like she hadn't remembered her own birthday? That would make sense.

"Amnesia?" I asked.

She nodded slowly.

"What about your parents?"

She made no hesitation. "Nobody knows."

I frowned.

"Where they went?"

She shook her head, her once long hair now short strands that swayed. "Who they are."

"But you know your name." I argued.

If they knew her name, they would know who her parents were.

"Alice." She nodded, as if she were a child reciting the alphabet. "Alice Brandon."

I nodded at her, slowly.

"It's all I can remember. It's a fairly common name, I wasn't reported as missing." She explained to me.

None of those facts seemed to bother her all that much, which caused me to stare at her intently.

"Now you live here?"

"Yes." She nodded.

I found my already terrible mood dropping, what a tragedy she was. Still as much of a mystery, too.

"How do you know Esme?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "She doesn't know you."

"You'll introduce me." A normal person would have asked, Alice informed.

"But…" I wiped a hand against my forehead, confused. "Never mind."

"Take me." Alice ordered.

"One more thing." I began. "How come you-"

She beamed at me, and before I could finish asking answered; "Because it looks cute!"

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I wasn't sure how Esme would feel about me bringing back a stray, but then again Esme obviously did have a thing for strays.

"His recovery's not going much better." I told Alice a few doors before Jasper's room.

"He's frustrated because he's having trouble with his hand." Alice frowned as if she had been personally attacked. "He doesn't like losing his independence; he doesn't like feeling weak."

"I wouldn't think someone who spends their entire life abiding to the orders of someone else would have such a value on freedom." I thought aloud.

I wasn't sure if that had come out right, I hadn't meant to insult my poor cousin.

"Yes." Alice agreed, but added; "And sometimes they are the ones who value it most."

Alice's words lingered in the quiet stillness until we reached Five-Six-Four-Six.

"Esme?" I asked, sticking my head into the room.

Both heads turned towards me, I feared I had interrupted an important conversation.

"You were gone a pretty long time." Esme frowned at me.

I hated it when I disappointed Esme. I swallowed; "I ran into someone."

I entered the room and allowed space for Alice to follow.

"Alice." Jasper's head picked up.

"Oh, your friend?" Esme asked him and then smiled towards Alice. "I'm Esme, Jasper's aunt."

"Pleased to meet you." She held out her hand. "I'm Alice Brandon."

Esme shook the small girl's hand, smiling. She was clearly impressed by her assertiveness.

Jasper was still staring at her, saying nothing. Alice ran a finger through a small tuft of hair, silently telling him something.

Jasper smiled and nodded at her; message received.

"Do you two go to the same school?" Esme asked.

The three children in the room shook their heads.

"She's staying here too." I told her.

I could see Esme sadden, as well as her curiosity incite. She looked the girl over, as if she had a prominent ailment and Esme had missed it.

It was rude, but I supposed even adults sometimes did rude things when they were typical human responses.

"She's an amnesiac." I eagerly informed her. I thought she might be impressed.

Esme's eyes widened for all but an instant. "Is that so?"

Alice nodded.

"I can't remember where I'm from or if I have parents." She was smiling. "You should take me home with you, because you adopt kids."

Esme looked as if someone had shot her; her eyes were bugging out of her head and her mouth was stationary partially open.

"Oh, Alice dear…" Esme began, seeming unsure where to start.

I began to laugh, loudly, and looked over towards Jasper for support. Esme looked between the two of us laughing, and her unease began to slowly fade away.

Alice looked as if she didn't quite understand what was so funny.

"You can't just be so blunt like that." I whispered into her ear, which was inches below me.

She didn't seem to get it until she looked over at Jasper.

"You're adorable" Esme crinkled her eyes at the girl, now finding her joke terribly 'cute'.

Alice smiled, I think she misinterpreted the statement.

" Do you like my outfit? They took me to the mall to get it. They have so many things there!" Alice said excitedly.

I nearly laughed again, Alice seemed so impressed with something as simple as a mall. Of course, this was the boondocks.

"It's lovely." Esme continued the conversation, however simple it may be.

Girls loved to talk about things like shoes and purses.

I rolled my eyes. I was grateful Bella wasn't like that. _Bella_, I thought and shook my head, it was no good to think about that.

Esme and Alice were chatting non-stop when a man in a bright white coat entered the room.

"Alice!" He cried, exasperated.

So she had been found. I sighed.

Alice quickly leaped, almost like a ballerina, behind Esme. My adoptive mother stood there quite confused, as Jasper glared daggers at the man.

"Demetri" She spat, clutching onto Esme's shirt.

"Dr." He corrected and then turned his attention towards Esme. "I'm sorry. It seems you've got one of my little runaways."

"Oh." Esme mouthed.

The doctor frowned at the tiny figure who was trying to hide. "You know it's off limits to wander the hospital. How did you even get past the nurses, anyway?"

That was something even I knew after only a few encounters with the girl. She was small, swift and strong. She was like a little ninja.

"I was visiting Jasper." She defended.

"Didn't I tell you I would try to set that up? You can't just go breaking all the rules and expect to get what you want. And now here you are inconveniencing these nice people."

Alice continued to pout.

"Sorry" Dr. Demetri apologized to Esme once more.

"She's not any trouble." Esme told him sincerely.

He nodded. "That's good to hear, but I best take her back now."

"No." Alice shook her head, gripping Esme tighter; causing my adoptive mother to let out a slight cry.

"Sweetheart." Esme began, looking somewhat embarrassed or maybe bombarded was more like it.

"I don't want to go." Alice frowned. "I'd rather stay here."

I could tell it pained Esme to deny her. Even I had to admit her puppy-dog eyes were something not to mess with.

Suddenly the already packed room became fuller as my beast of a foster brother came through the door, Rosalie right behind him.

"Whoa" The doctor scooted out of the way.

"Emmett-" Esme began, but was cut short.

"Who's this?" He asked.

"I don't want to go." Alice was still pleading.

"Alice-" Dr. Demetri was attempting to reason with her.

"I don't like it downstairs"

"Alice-" Esme tried again and was again cut off by Rosalie.

"Is that Jasper's friend? What's she doing?"

"She-"

"Can't I stay here?" The small pixie-like girl was begging.

"Alice, I-"

"Who's this?" Emmett pointed to the doctor.

"That's-"

"Please! Please, I want to stay with you"

"Alice-"

"Esme?" Emmett asked.

"Alice you're acting very immature-" The doctor was trying.

"But I want to-"

"So, wait- who is she?"

"She's Alice, she's-"

"I'll be good! Ple-"

"ENOUGH!!" The intimidating doctor's large voice forced silence upon the room.

All eyes stared at him.

"Alice." The name came off as dark, a bold contrast to the girl's personality. "Let's go. Now."

"I'll see you again" Alice said as a strong hand squeezed her slender wrist.

"Yes." Esme nodded as if it had been a question. She let out a sigh, but broke into a smile. "Certainly."

"See you soon, Jasper!" Alice called as she was dragged away.

"That was…" Esme let out another sigh as she tried to find the right word.

"Alice." Jasper answered with a slight smile.

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It was past midnight, a good hour or so into the new year. I wasn't sure how this year would fare in comparison to the previous, but I had no great hopes for it.

In truth I hadn't been sleeping well at all lately, tonight just had a special excuse. Normally, I'd stay downstairs reading or quietly tidying up the things Esme no longer had time to do.

Anything to avoid having to think about things, anything to avoid Rosalie. I didn't want to know the things she'd tell me in the middle of the night, it was beginning to be too much. At the same time, it was like she was the only one who would talk to me. Really talk to me; no lies. She still had secrets, though. Everyone had secrets, no one wanted to share.

I wanted to _know_, however. I wanted to know, and I didn't.

The things that Esme knew destroyed her, made her life too difficult for a woman as sweet as her. And what had she ever done to deserve this? Nothing. I couldn't imagine her ever doing anything bad, ever.

No, there was no reasoning. This was a good family that life was just maliciously attacking.

I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. How could people like Alice live so happily under such dark circumstances? Why did life have to hurt so many innocent people?

I was beginning to lose my faith in justice. Good? Bad? No, it didn't matter.

What mattered? It didn't matter what you did, life had no leniency.

I was sitting on the couch, in the dark. My paperback book open against the arm of it. It was another one Bella had wanted me to read.

I sighed, my thoughts _always_ came back to her. I missed talking to her, she could cheer me up without even having to say anything. It was enough for me just to know she was there. Was I such a masochist I had to destroy that?

"NO!" I was jerked from my thoughts by a loud scream that came from upstairs.

My eyes widened, and my heart beat sped up. I was motionless as I waited for the next sound, some indicator of what was going on. The next sound, however, was too mumbled to be understood.

"Just who the hell do _you_ think you are?!" I could perfectly make out it was Rosalie shouting. "You fucking skeez!"

"Where the hell is this coming from?!" This time Emmett was shouting.

"You're a pig!" She was screaming so loud I thought the windows might burst. "A fucking _pig_!"

I wrapped my arms around my knees, the house suddenly feeling so much colder.

"Hey! I just don't know where this is coming from, what did I do?" Emmett's voice was slightly softer.

"What did you do?!" Rosalie sounded as if she couldn't believe it. "You didn't do _anything!_"

"So then what the heck is the problem?!" Emmett clearly wasn't one for sarcasm.

I could hear the footsteps down the hall, they treaded slowly. I didn't know If it was Esme or Carlisle, the voice was a low murmur I couldn't make out from where I was.

I tucked my head into my knees. Maybe this was over now.

"Yes he did! He did!" Rosalie shouted, proving me wrong. "Your son is a fucking-"

She had been cut off, obviously getting scolded for her language.

"He's a _pervert_!" The rage in her voice was enough to send a shiver down my spine.

"Me?!" Emmett's voice was just as furious and even more frightening. "You know what she did?! She kissed _Edward!_"

It didn't register in my mind at first.

_What_ had he said? _What_ did he say?!

The silence was starting to suffocate me, I couldn't breath. It was a nightmare, an absolute nightmare. My heart was ready to explode.

He hadn't just said that, had he? Had he?!

"How would you know that?!" Rosalie almost made me faint, she sounded _scared_.

"People say some pretty funny things when they're drunk!" Emmett shouted.

I heard a gasp, it was definitely Esme.

"Fuck off, Emmett!" Rosalie shot back.

"Rosalie!" This time it was Carlisle. So she had woken both of them up.

_Great_ I thought, _Just great. _I was really in for it now. I bit down on my lip hard, as hard as my teeth would dig into the weak flesh. What was going to happen to me? I… I could never look at my adoptive parents the same way again.

I grasped my arms tightly when I began to shake. Oh god, why did I have to ruin _everything? _

"Forget this!" She shrieked.

I grabbed my face in frustration. _Why, Rosalie? Why do you have to be like this? _

"Hey!" Carlisle managed to shout without sounding angry.

He was angry, wasn't he? He had every reason to be.

"Let go!!!!!" I could _feel_ the shout. It made me jump.

I wish I had been able to hear the reply.

"You're not my father!!" She screamed. "Let go of me! Just back off! All of you!"

My heart was hurting, I placed a hand against it. _Please stop_.

"Leave me alone!" She was sobbing now.

I was shaking, and my lip was trembling. I was terrified.

"Edward?" Esme was calling upstairs. "Edward?!"

I hardly even heard her voice, I was just trying to breathe, trying not to cry, trying to calm down and quit _shaking_ so much.

A booming sound became louder from the staircase, the bright lights of the living room were suddenly flicked on.

"Edward!" Esme's voice sounded relieved. "Your door was open and you weren't in there, I thought…."

I wouldn't lift my head to look at her. How could I after what I had done?

"Oh, baby." Her arms wrapped around me.

I was uncomfortable, but I was thankful she could help stop the shaking.

"It's alright." She whispered. "No, honey, it's alright."

I opened my mouth, wanting to argue, but I couldn't even speak. Nothing but chokes of sobs left my mouth.

"But…" I began. "_Esme." _

"Shh, calm down." She insisted. "What is it?"

"I… I…" I couldn't even say it.

"It's alright." She repeated.

No! It wasn't alright, it wasn't anywhere close to alright.

"I'm sorry!" I cried.

"Edward, you didn't do anything wrong." Esme let go of me to hold my shoulders and look me in the eye.

I stared down at my feet. I hadn't done anything wrong? Of course I had, this was all my fault. Maybe bad things didn't 'just happen' to good people, maybe it was me. I was… I was a terrible person.

"Edward." Esme me said more sharply, snapping my eyes upward. "There are certain things I think we are going to have to talk about, but you must know that even if people got angry tonight; no one is angry with you."

It made me feel like crying harder. She was such a nice person, she wouldn't even be mean to someone as bad as me.

"No" I cried, shaking my head strongly. "I…"

I had to admit it, didn't I? I actually had to say it.

I was going to be sick.

"I…" I swallowed, my stomach feeling as though I had just ingested poison. "But I… ki-… I KISSED her!"

The word fell off my tongue like a slimy worm, it was disgusting. I was disgusting, I had _kissed_ my cousin. Who did that? It was so… It was just repulsive.

"It's alright" Esme was nearly in tears herself. "It's alright, we don't care. We just care that you're safe and well and that's all that's important."

"I'm sorry." I sobbed again.

"It's okay, baby." She hugged me again. "It's going to be fine."

"But…" I cried. "And Emmett and Rosalie… and…"

I didn't even know what I was talking about, it just came out.

"No, it's alright. It's fine."

"Jasper, Alice - they…. And, and with Carlisle… and I… and then Bella, and I'm…"

"Calm down, honey." She was holding me tightly. "It's okay. It's okay, they're fine. Everybody's fine."

That was such a lie I couldn't even bring myself to acknowledge it.

"I'm sorry." I cried again.

It was the only feeling I could pinpoint, I was sorry. All I was was sorry. I was sorry for everything, everything that had happened to everyone.

"It's not your fault." Esme told me sternly.

She was lying, she had to be lying.

"I'm sorry."

It was all I could say.

**A/N: Ah poor Edward (and all of them).**

**I'm actually the one who's sorry, though. I realized I never thanked my reviewers in my last note! **

**O.o I've…. ****I've failed you. **

**Alright, this chapter: THANK YOU, THANK YOU! To everyone who gave me a review; THANK YOU! I really love to hear people's opinions and advice. : )**

**Still trying to figure out whether Alice is a pixie, a ballerina, or a ninja, **

**W.C.E**


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